Jokes about Judges You Might Have Missed

If you’re in need of a good laugh, check out these jokes about judges that you might have missed. From clever quips to courtroom antics, these jokes will have you chuckling in no time.

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Introduction

It’s no secret that the legal system can be a bit stuffy and dry at times. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for a little fun and laughter. Here are some jokes about judges you might have missed.

What do you call a judge who is always right?

Your Honor!

What do you call a judge who is never wrong?

Judge Judy!

Jokes

Here are some jokes about judges you might have missed. If you are a lawyer, you might want to avoid telling these in court.

If you want a job as a judge…

You’ll need a sharp mind, good judgement and the ability to remain calm in the face of pressure. But what about a sense of humor? According to a recent survey of judges, being able to laugh at yourself – and having a good repertoire of jokes – is just as important as any other quality.

The survey, conducted by the U.K.-based legal website Chambers Student, found that nearly 60% of respondents believe a sense of humor is “very important” or “quite important” in a judge.

And it seems that judges are putting their money where their mouths are: nearly half of those surveyed said they had told a joke from the bench.

So what kind of jokes do judges like to tell? Here are some of our favorites:

-I sentencing you to 23 months…but I’ll let you out early for good behavior!
-This is one trial where the defendant is not guilty…of fashion sense!
-I sentence you to a year in jail…but you can serve it on weekends!

If you can’t find a good lawyer…

…you might be out of luck. Just ask these hapless defendants who ran into Judge Judy.

“I’ve been in law for 30 years, and I’ve never seen a case like this,” she told one unfortunate soul who had the misfortune of being involved in a custody dispute over a Chihuahua.

But while Judge Judy may not be the most merciful person in the world, she does have a sharp wit — and she’s not afraid to use it.

Here are some of her most brutal takedowns over the years:

“If you can’t afford a lawyer, you shouldn’t have gotten into trouble in the first place.”

“Do you want me to draw you a picture? I can do that, you know. I went to law school.”

“If your IQ was any lower, you would have to be watered twice a week.”

If you want to be a judge…

There are a few things you should know if you want to be a judge. First, it’s important to be impartial. You need to be able to see both sides of every issue and make a decision based on the facts. Second, you need to have a good sense of humor. This is especially important if you want to be a judge on a TV show like “American Idol” or “The Voice.” You need to be able to laugh at yourself and the contestants. And last, but not least, you need to be able to take a joke. Here are a few jokes about judges that you might have missed.

What do you call a judge who is always fair?

Impartial!

What do you call a judge who is alwayspartial?

A fair judge!

If you want to be a judge in Texas…

If you want to be a judge in Texas, you have to be a lawyer. And if you want to be a lawyer in Texas, you have to pass the Texas Bar Exam. But if you want to pass the Texas Bar Exam, you don’t necessarily have to be a law student. In fact, you don’t even have to go to law school.

All you need is a bachelor’s degree, a clean criminal record, and the ability to pay the $200 filing fee. That’s right: In Texas, anyone can become a lawyer without ever setting foot in a law school classroom.

It may sound like a joke, but it’s actually perfectly legal. The state of Texas has what’s known as an “ essentially equivalent ” legal education requirement, which means that if you can show that you’ve gained the same knowledge and skills somewhere other than law school, you can still sit for the bar exam.

So how does one go about becoming Essentially Equivalent? The process begins with an application to the Board of Law Examiners , which includes an essay and three letters of recommendation . If your application is approved, you then have to take and pass the bar exam . And that’s it! You’re now a practicing lawyer in the state of Texas .

Of course, becoming Essentially Equivalent is no easy feat. It requires years of dedicated study and is not for everyone. But if you have what it takes, it could be a shortcut to your legal career !

If you’re a judge and you’re bored…

…it’s probably time to retire. But if you’re looking for a way to stay entertained on the job, here are some jokes about judges you might have missed.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side of the law.

Why did the judge rule in favor of the plaintiff?
Because he had a good case!

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A vulture only eats dead lawyers.

Conclusion

Here are a few more jokes about judges that you might have missed.

-Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the courthouse. -Why did the duck go to court? To get a restraining order. -Why did the mosquito go to court? To sue someone for biting him. -How many judges does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just assign someone else to do it.

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Himalay