We’ve rounded up the best jokes of 2017 so far, from classic one-liners to clever quips and hilarious observations. Enjoy a laugh and start your year off right!
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It’s been a tough year, so we all need a good laugh. Here are some of the best jokes of 2017.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta!
Why did the gym close down? It just didn’t work out!
Have you heard about that new restauraunt called Karma? There’s no menu, you get what you deserve.
The Best Jokes of 2017
These are the best jokes of 2017. They’re funny, they’re clever, and they will make you laugh. But beware, some of these jokes are definitely NSFW. So if you’re at work, or in the presence of children, maybe save this list for later. But if you’re looking for a good laugh, then read on.
The best jokes from late-night comedians
2017 was a tough year for many people, but it was also a year filled with some great jokes from late-night comedians. Here are some of the best jokes from 2017:
“I’m not saying that 2017 was a bad year, but it did get off to a really rough start when 2016 said, ‘Hold my beer.'” – Conan O’Brien
“The Women’s March was so big, even Trump was like, ‘Wow, my inauguration crowd looks pathetic.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“After years of obstruction, Republicans finally got something done this year: They blocked dozens of bills proposed by Democrats.” – Stephen Colbert
“A new study has found that 90% of American children live within a 10-minute walk of at least one all-night convenience store. 10 minutes! That’s two episodes of ‘Portlandia’!” – Jimmy Kimmel
“In their first meeting since the election, Trump and Obama were supposed to talk for an hour but ended up talking for 90 minutes. And that was just about how long it took Trump to figure out how the lights work in the Oval Office.” – Seth Meyers
The best jokes from social media
What was the best joke of 2017? We’ve scoured social media to find the funniest, most clever jokes that had everyone laughing this year. From Brexit to North Korea, there was plenty of material to work with…
‘I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but I’ll give it a chance.’ – @joeheenan
‘My mate just lost his job at the bank. A teller, apparently.’ – @jimmycarr
‘Mum: “What do you want for dinner?” Me: “Pizza.” Mum: “Again? You had it last night! And the night before! Can’t you just have something else for a change? Just once? Please…?” Me: “No. I like pizza. It’s my favourite food. I could eat it every day and never get sick of it. In fact, I don’t think I ever could. Pizza is amazing! Give me pizza or give me death! Long live pizza! All hail pizza! Pizza for president! PIZZA!!! Mum: “Fine. You can have cereal then.” – @MrNathanjohn
Q: Why don’t scientists trust atoms? A: Because they make up everything – @peter_kayomic
I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed – @RaymondSkipper1
My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down – @markpassio
Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because they are easy to see through – @rickygervais
The best jokes from stand-up comedians
Comedians are often some of the wittiest people around, so it’s no surprise that they come up with some of the best jokes. Here are our favorite jokes from 2017 from stand-up comedians.
“I’m not a fan of the new face swap feature on Snapchat. I used it once and it gave me a concussion.” – Jimmy Fallon
“I’m not necessarily a germaphobe, but I did once give myself food poisoning by not washing my hands after using the restroom. That’s how much I hate doing dishes.” – Conan O’Brien
“I was at the airport and I saw a woman in a wheelchair. And I thought, ‘That is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.’ And then she stood up and walked away.” – Chelsea Handler
“My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.” – Amy Schumer
What were the best jokes of 2017? It’s a question that has been on everyone’s mind since the beginning of the year. From political jokes to jokes about pop culture, there was no shortage of material to choose from.
After much deliberation, we’ve compiled a list of the best jokes of 2017. Here they are:
1. “I’m not saying that Trump is an idiot, but he does keep repeating himself. Over and over and over again.” – Jimmy Fallon
2. “I read that North Korea is developing a missile that can reach Los Angeles. So finally, California will get a Missile Crisis.” – Jimmy Kimmel
3. “I saw that Ivanka Trump converted to Judaism, which makes sense because her father is such a big Holocaust denier.” – Seth Meyers
4. “The White House announced that it will be banning personal cell phones from the West Wing. So if you want to reach Trump, you now have to go through Verizon Wireless.” – Conan O’Brien
5. “A new poll found that 61% of Americans think Donald Trump is racially prejudiced. Though to be fair, 49% of Americans also think racism is probably fine.” – Seth Meyers