Funny Whiskey Jokes to Make Your Day

If you’re looking for a laugh, check out our collection of funny whiskey jokes. From quotes to one-liners, we’ve got you covered.

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Jokes about whiskey

Do you like whiskey? If so, then you’ll love these funny jokes about whiskey. From dirty jokes to puns, we’ve got all the best humor to make your day.

Why did the whiskey drinker cross the road?

To get to the other still!

How does a Scotsman make whiskey?

Barrel it up!

Why did the Irishman put his whiskey in the freezer?

So he could have a cold shot!

How many string players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but he’ll need a ladder and someone to hold his Scotch.

Jokes about being drunk

being drunk.

Why did the dad cross the road?
To get to the liquor store!

Why did the chicken go to the seedy part of town?
To get a shot of whiskey!

Why is it hard to play chess with a drinking problem?
Because you can never find your pieces.

Why does alcohol make you fat? because your liver gets all clogged up with fat!

I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a drunksumer.

Jokes about bartenders

Bartenders are a special breed. They have to be part entertainer, part counselor, and part teacher. They also have to be able to hold their liquor. So it’s no wonder that there are so many jokes about bartenders.

Here are a few of our favorites:

Why did the bartender put a mirror behind the bar?

So he could see if anyone was sneaking up on him!

What did the bartender say to the chicken?

“You’re not my type.”

Why did the bartender switch from whiskey to vodka?

Because he was tired of being followed everywhere by bees!

How does a bartender make a martini?
By shaking the hell out of it!

Jokes about whiskey brands

-Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other barrel of Jack Daniels.

-How many years does it take to make a good whiskey?
Seven years, and that’s just for the bottle.

-Why did the Scotsman put his whisky in the freezer?
So he could have ice cubes with his single malt.

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