A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says “You’re out of luck. We’ve been closed for fifteen minutes.”
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Table of Contents
Jokes about men
There are a lot of jokes out there about men. Some of them are funny, and some of them are not so funny. But what do you call a man jokes are always a good way to get a laugh out of your friends.
Jokes about men and their appearance
What do you call a man with a big nose?
-A big nose!
What do you call a man with a big head?
-A big head!
What do you call a man with a big stomach?
-A big stomach!
Jokes about men and their behavior
Q: What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brain?
A: A widower.
Q: What’s the difference between a man and a toilet?
A: A toilet doesn’t follow you around for two days after you use it.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One ……… He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Jokes about men and their intelligence
These jokes about men are just funny. They don’t necessarily depict men as stupid, but rather, make light of the various things they do that can be considered foolish.
Why did the man cross the road? To get to the other side!
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One…men will screw anything.
What’s a man’s idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don’t know…it has never happened.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three, one to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake the stove.
Jokes about what men do
Jokes about what men do at work
What do you call a man with 99% of his brain missing?
A genius!
Jokes about what men do at home
Q: What does a man do standing up after he’s just washed his hands?
A: He dries them on his pants.
Q: What does a man call a barbecue grill that won’t light?
A: A dumb blonde.
Q. What’s the difference between men and government bonds?
A. Bonds mature.
Jokes about what men do in relationships
What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brain?
A widower.
What’s the best way to describe it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
Sexual harassment.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three, if you insist on using that stupid microwave oven.
Jokes about how men think
Jokes about how men think about women
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don’t know, it’s never happened.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One…men will screw anything.
Q: What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
A: Any place without a drive-up window.
Jokes about how men think about sex
Here are some hilarious jokes about how men think about sex.
Q: Why don’t men like to ask for directions?
A: Because they don’t like to stop and ask for directions!
Q: Why are men like magazines?
A: Because they come with instructions!
Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: He eats beans for dinner!
Jokes about how men think about relationships
Why did the man cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why did the man put a clock in his car?
So he could know what time it was!
Why did the man go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling sick!
