A good sense of humor can go a long way in any job, but it’s especially important for waitresses. Dealing with customers can be tough, so having a few funny jokes up your sleeve can help you get through the day. Here are a few of our favorite funny jokes that waitresses use to get through the day.
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Table of Contents
Jokes About Customers
If you’ve ever worked in customer service, you know that dealing with the public can be a real challenge. Waitresses, in particular, have to deal with a lot of different types of people. To help them get through their shifts, they often share jokes with each other about the customers they’ve served.
Jokes about customer’s appearance
These jokes are about customer’sappearance, weight, hygiene and fashion sense (or lack thereof).
– “I’m not saying that she’s fat, but her driver’s license says ‘Picture continued on other side.'”
– “I’m not saying that he’s ugly, but when he walks into a bank, they turn off the cameras.”
– “She’s so old, her social security number is 1.”
– “He’s so old, his birth certificate says ‘expired.'”
– “She’s so fat, her rear end has its own area code.”
– “He’s so fat, he uses a whistle to get his car started.”
– “She’s so fat, she puts pictures of cake on her Facebook wall instead of her kids.”
“He’s so fat, he needs two seats on an airplane – one for the chair and one for him.”
“She’s so fat, when she sat on a quarter, George Washington got suffocated.”
“He’s so fat that his pants have stretch marks.”
Jokes about customer’s behavior
-Customers who order decaf but then drink 10 cups of it.
-The ones who ask for a doggie bag, and then don’t take the dog with them when they leave.
-People who snap their fingers to get your attention.
-Those who order something “to go” and then eat it in the restaurant.
-People who use your pen to sign the credit card receipt.
-People who ask for a straw and then proceed to drink their water with their pinky up.
Jokes About the Food
Waiter, waiter, there’s a fly in my soup! How much did you say this cost? You said there wasn’t a charge for the fly.
Jokes about the quality of the food
-I’m sorry, our chef is currently out sick.
-I’m sorry, we’re out of that item.
-I’m sorry, that dish is no longer available.
– Our chef only uses the freshest ingredients.
– Our food is made with love.
Jokes about the quantity of the food
-I’m sorry sir, we’re out of that.
-This is just a light snack before your real meal.
-I’ll be back with your food as soon as I can find the chef.
-I’m sorry, the chef is having a bad day.
-The cook forgot to put your food in the oven.
Jokes About the Restaurant
Waitresses are known for their sense of humor. They have to be able to deal with customers who are often angry or frustrated. In order to do this, they use humor to diffuse the situation. Here are some jokes that waitresses use to get through the day.
Jokes about the cleanliness of the restaurant
I asked the waitress if the restaurant was clean. She said, “Yes, we clean it every day.”
“And how often do you change the sheets on the bed?”
“As often as necessary.”
Jokes about the décor of the restaurant
Q: How many amendments does the Constitution have?
A: Eleven, but only three are ratified.
Q: How many pickles are in a jar of pickles?
A: Five.
Q: How much do you tip a waitperson in a restaurant?
A: A quarter for every item on the bill.
Jokes About Co-Workers
Jokes about the behavior of co-workers
It’s not always easy to get along with your co-workers. In fact, sometimes it can be downright impossible. If you’re looking for a way to get through the day without losing your mind, here are some funny jokes about the behavior of co-workers that you can use to make yourself feel better.
1. I’m not saying that my co-worker is lazy, but he’s the only person I know who can sleep standing up.
2. I asked my co-worker if she was okay and she said she was fine, but her face said she was lying through her teeth.
3. I’m not sure what my co-worker’s problem is, but it seems like everything bothers him. I think he may be allergic to work.
4. My co-worker is so forgetful that he once forgot his own name. Fortunately, we were able to jog his memory by calling him “Hey, you!”
5. I’m not sure what my co-worker’s deal is, but he always seems to be in a bad mood. I think he must have PMS… Permanent Male Syndrome.
Jokes about the appearance of co-workers
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
-A snowman has buttons.
What do you call a co-worker with no body odor?
-An air freshener.
Why did the coffee spill?
-Because it was depressing.
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Jokes About Management
Management can be a pain sometimes. You’re always having to answer to someone and you never really get a break. But, you’re not alone. These waitresses have to deal with management every day and they’ve come up with some pretty funny jokes to get through the day. Let’s take a look at a few of them.
Jokes about the behavior of management
Are you looking for some funny jokes about management? Well, you’ve come to the right place! Here are a few that our waitresses use to get through the day:
-Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the restaurant!
-Why did the duck cross the road? To get to the other side of the pond!
-Why did the mosquito cross the road? To get to the other side of your face!
-Why did the banana cross the road? Because he was sick of being mashed!
-Why did the boy cross the road? To get to his car!
Jokes about the appearance of management
There’s a new chef in town, and he’s a real pompous jerk. He walks around the kitchen checking everyone’s work, and if he doesn’t like what he sees, he yells at the staff. One day, he comes into the kitchen and sees one of the waitresses cooking a steak. He walks over to her and says, “This steak is too rare. Cook it longer.” The waitress just smiles and says, “Yes chef.”
The next day, the chef comes into the kitchen and sees the same waitress cooking a steak. Once again, he walks over to her and says, “I told you to cook this steak longer. It’s still too rare.” The waitress just smiles and says, “Yes chef.”
The next day, the chef comes into the kitchen and sees the same waitress cooking a steak. Once again, he walks over to her and says, “I told you to cook this steak longer. It’s still too rare.” The waitress just smiles and says, “Yes chef.”
At this point, the chef is getting angry. He storms over to the waitress and yells, “I’ve had enough of your smart-ass comments! I’m going to write you up!” The waitress just smiles and says, “Yes chef.”
