Funny Veterans Day Jokes to Make You Smile

Looking for some funny Veterans Day jokes? We’ve got you covered! Check out our collection of jokes that are sure to make you smile.

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Jokes about the Military

Jokes about the Army

What do you call an Army pilot in a cockpit? A co-pilot!

What’s the difference between an Air Force pilot and a Navy pilot?

An Air Force pilot knows how to fly; a Navy pilot knows how to crash on an aircraft carrier!

Jokes about the Navy

The following jokes are a sampling of the humor that the Navy has to offer. If you have a good joke that you would like to share, please submit it using the form at the bottom of this page.

Q: How does the Navy keep down costs?
A: They use cheaper materials.

Q: How do you know when a Navy ship is coming into port?
A: You can smell the onions and cabbage.

Q: Why did they cancel operations in Somalia?
A: They couldn’t find three guys willing to drive the getaway car.

Jokes about the Marines

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other drill sergeant!

What’s the difference between a Marine and a vampire?
One sucks blood for a living, the other is a deadbeat with no job and lives off his mother!

How many Marines does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but he’ll do it twice just to be sure!

Jokes about the Air Force

Why did the Air Force major buy a light bulb at a hardware store?
Because he wanted to change his altitude!

What’s the difference between an Air Force airplane and an airplane?
The Air Force airplane has to be able to take off and land on short runways.

Why did the Air Force officer cross the road?
To get to the other squadron!

Jokes about Veterans

Jokes about Veteran’s Benefits

Q. What did the veteran say when he lost his benefits card?
A. “I don’t know how I’m going to make ends meet.”

Jokes about Veteran’s Day

Military Jokes and Humor
What’s the difference between a veteran and a homeless person?
A veteran fought for our country. A homeless person fought for our pizza.

Why don’t veterans have nightmares?
Because they can always wake up screaming.

How do you keep a veteran from going crazy?
Tie him to a post!

Why was the veteran in the hospital?
He heard gunshots!

Jokes about Veteran’s Affairs

Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to deny that the light bulb needs to be changed and one to blame the previous administration for the burned out light bulb.

Q: How many Department of Veterans Affairs employees does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but it takes nine visits to get an appointment!

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