If you’re looking for a way to make your daily commute more bearable, look no further than these funny subway jokes. From clever one-liners to hilarious puns, these jokes will definitely help you get through your ride.
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Table of Contents
Jokes
Subways are often considered to be places where people are forced to be in close proximity to one another without any opportunity for escape. This can often lead to a feeling of anxiety or even claustrophobia. However, one of the benefits of taking the subway is that it can be a great place to people watch. You never know what you might see on your commute. To make your commute more bearable, we’ve compiled a list of some funny subway jokes.
Short jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why did the duck cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why did the mosquito cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why did the banana cross the road?
Because he was sick of being mashed.
Why did the boy cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Long jokes
Why did the chicken go to the seedy part of town?
To get a tattoo!
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged!
Why did the gym close down?
It just didn’t work out!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two tired!
Puns
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!Why did the duck go to the store?To get some quackers!Why did the mosquito go to the party?Because he was invited!Why did the banana go to the doctor?Because he wasn’t peeling well!
Short puns
Ok, so maybe not everyone finds puns funny. But if you’re one of those people who love a good play on words, then these short subway jokes are sure to make your commute more bearable.
“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”
“My doctor told me I had a serious case of the Mondays. I had to stay home from work.”
“I’ve been working on my dictionary. I’ve got about 15 pages so far.”
“I invented a new word: Plagiarism! “
Long puns
If you’re looking for a way to make your commute more bearable, why not try cracking some jokes? We’ve compiled a list of funny subway puns that are sure to get a few chuckles out of your fellow passengers.
*Why did the chicken cross the road?* To get to the other side…of the subway platform!
*Why did the mosquito ride the bus?* To get to the other side…of the passenger!
*Why did the banana ride the subway?* Because he wasn’t peeling very well!
*Why did the Subway employee quit his job?* He was sick of the same old bread!
One-liners
The subway can be a tough place. You’re packed in like sardines, barely able to move, and surrounded by people you don’t know. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun. If you’re looking for a way to make your commute more bearable, try cracking a few of these jokes.
Short one-liners
Best one-liner: Daughter: Mom, can I have a pony? Mom: No, you can’t have a pony. You’ll just have to be satisfied with the horse.
Some other great short one-liners:
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
Long one-liners
Long one-liners
Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin.
A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says “You’re out of luck. We’ve been closed for fifteen minutes.”
I’m not saying that I don’t like my job, but if they offered me a million dollars to do it, I’d have to think about it.
The other day I was in a bakery and I asked for eleven pies, and the lady at the counter said “You’re out of luck. We only have ten.”
I was in a restaurant the other day and I ordered a steak. The waitress came back and said “I’m sorry, but we’re out of steak.”
