STD Jokes to Make You Laugh. Funny, clever, and embarrassing STD jokes to make you laugh.
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Table of Contents
What is an STD?
An STD is a sexually transmitted disease. STDs are caused by bacteria, viruses, or parasites. They can be passed from one person to another during sexual activity, including vaginal, anal, and oral sex.
There are many different STDs, and some of them can be serious. STDs can cause problems with your reproductive health, and they can also cause other health problems.
There are treatments available for some STDs, but not all of them. The best way to protect yourself from STDs is to practice safe sex. This includes using condoms during sexual activity.
If you think you may have an STD, it’s important to see a healthcare provider so that you can be tested and treated if necessary.
The Different Types of STDs
There are many different types of STDs, and each one has its own set of symptoms. Some STDs are curable, while others are not. STDs can be caused by bacteria, viruses, or parasites. Some STDs are spread through sexual contact, while others are spread through blood or other body fluids.
HIV/AIDS
There is no one type of STD. STDs are caused by a variety of different viruses, bacteria, and parasites, and they can be spread through sexual contact, blood transfusions, and sharing needles. Some STDs, like HIV/AIDS, can be deadly. Others, like herpes, can cause lifelong infections. And still others, like gonorrhea and chlamydia, can cause serious health problems if left untreated.
Chlamydia
Chlamydia is a bacterial infection that is passed through sexual contact. The bacteria are usually found in the genital area, but can also be found in the rectum and throat. Chlamydia is the most commonly reported STD in the United States. Symptoms of chlamydia include pain during urination, discharge from the penis or vagina, and pain in the testicles or ovaries. If left untreated, chlamydia can cause serious health problems, including infertility.
Gonorrhea
Gonorrhea is a sexually transmitted disease (STD) that can infect both men and women. It is caused by bacteria called Neisseria gonorrhoeae.
Gonorrhea is usually spread through sexual contact with someone who has the infection. This includes oral, anal, or vaginal sex. You can also get gonorrhea by sharing sexual toys with someone who has the infection.
Symptoms in men include burning during urination, discharge from the penis, and pain and swelling in the testicles. Symptoms in women include burning during urination, discharge from the vagina, and pain in the lower abdomen.
If left untreated, gonorrhea can cause serious complications such as infertility or an increased risk of HIV infection. Gonorrhea can be cured with antibiotics.
Herpes
Herpes is a very common STD that can be caused by either the herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) or the herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2). HSV-1 is usually associated with oral herpes, while HSV-2 is usually associated with genital herpes. However, both viruses can cause either type of infection.
There are two types of herpes simplex virus:
HSV-1: This virus is responsible for most cases of oral herpes, which causes sores around the mouth and lips. It can also cause genital herpes, but this is less common.
HSV-2: This virus is responsible for most cases of genital herpes, which causes sores around the genitals and anus. It can also cause oral herpes, but this is less common.
Most people with HSV don’t have any symptoms. When symptoms do occur, they usually appear as small blisters on the genitals or mouth. These blisters break open and turn into ulcers (sores). The ulcers eventually heal, but the virus remains in the body and can cause symptoms again.
Herpes is a lifelong infection that has no cure. However, there are treatments that can help to manage the symptoms and reduce the risk of transmitting the virus to others.
HPV
There are many different types of STDs, and each one has its own set of symptoms. HPV is a virus that can cause genital warts, as well as cancer of the cervix, vagina, vulva, and anus. It is most commonly spread through sexual contact, including vaginal, anal, and oral sex. HPV is the most common STD in the United States, and most people who are sexually active will get it at some point in their lives. There is no cure for HPV, but there are vaccines that can prevent it.
Syphilis
Syphilis is a sexually transmitted infection (STI) caused by the bacterium Treponema pallidum. It can cause severe health problems if it’s not treated.
Syphilis is usually passed from person to person through sexual contact, including oral, vaginal, and anal sex. It can also be passed from a pregnant woman to her baby.
If you think you might have syphilis, or if you’ve had unprotected sex with someone who has it, see a doctor or other healthcare provider right away. Syphilis can be cured with antibiotics.
How to Protect Yourself from STDs
Though STD jokes may lighten the mood, the reality is that STDs are no laughing matter. In the United States alone, there are an estimated 20 million new STD infections each year. That’s one STD infection every four seconds! No one is immune to STDs; even celebrities have contracted them. The only way to truly protect yourself from STDs is to practice safe sex.
Use Protection
There are many ways to reduce your risk of getting an STD. The best way to avoid getting an STD is to abstain from vaginal, anal, and oral sex, or to be in a long-term, monogamous relationship with a partner who has been tested and is known to be uninfected.
But if you are sexually active, you can still reduce your risk of getting an STD by using protection. Condoms, when used correctly and consistently, are very effective in protecting against HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, as well as chlamydia, gonorrhea, and trichomoniasis—three of the most common STDs.
Condoms can also help protect against other STDs, like syphilis, herpes, and HPV (human papillomavirus), which can cause genital warts. However, no form of contraception protects against all STDs—abstinence is the only sure way to prevent them.
Get Tested
If you think you might have an STD, the only way to know for sure is to get tested. Many STDs don’t have symptoms, so even if you don’t think you have one, it’s always a good idea to get checked out. You can get tested at a doctor’s office, clinic, or health department. Some STDs can be cured with medicine, but others cannot. Even if an STD cannot be cured, there are still ways to treat the symptoms and help prevent spreading the disease to others.
Know Your Status
Get Tested: The only way to know for sure if you have an STD is to get tested. You can get tested at a doctor’s office, clinic, or health department. You can also order a home test kit online.
Talk to Your Partner: It’s important to talk to your partner about your STD status and get tested together. This can help you both make informed decisions about sex and protect each other’s health.
Use Protection: The best way to prevent STDs is to use condoms every time you have sex. Condoms provide protection against STDs like HIV, chlamydia, and gonorrhea. If you are sexually active, you should get tested for STDs on a regular basis.
Funny STD Jokes
Laughter is the best medicine, so they say. So, if you’re looking for a good laugh, look no further than our list of funny STD jokes. From HIV and HPV to chlamydia and gonorrhea, we’ve got all the bases covered.
“I have a confession to make…I have an STD.”
“I have a confession to make…I have an STD. Most people would be disgusted or scared, but I’m actually pretty excited. I mean, I’m one of the few people who can say they have a disease and it’s not a big deal. In fact, it’s kind of funny.”
“I went to the doctor and he said I had an STD.”
“I went to the doctor and he said I had an STD. I was like, ‘No way, I would know if I had an STD!’ But he said, ‘You might not have symptoms, so it’s important to get tested.'”
“I’m not saying that I have an STD, but…”
I’m not saying that I have an STD, but…I just found out that my insurance doesn’t cover pregnancy tests anymore.
I’m not saying that I have an STD, but…I heard that if you have chlamydia, you can get pregnant even if you’re a guy.
I’m not saying that I have an STD, but…I went to the doctor and he put me on a course of antibiotics. I asked him if that would cure my gonorrhea and he said, “We’ll see.”
I’m not saying that I have an STD, but…the other day I was scratching my balls and I found a lump.
Conclusion
We hope you’ve enjoyed our selection of funny STD jokes. If you have any other favorites, please share them in the comments below.
And remember, laughter is the best medicine… but it’s not a cure for STDs! Be sure to practice safe sex to keep yourself and your partner(s) healthy and happy.
