Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of funny soccer jokes. From players to coaches, we’ve got jokes for everyone.
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Jokes About Soccer Players
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! Why did the soccer player cross the road? I don’t know, but he probably should have passed the ball first! If you’re looking for some laughs, check out our collection of jokes about soccer players.
Jokes about Cristiano Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the most popular soccer players in the world, so it’s no surprise that there are plenty of jokes about him. Here are some of the best Cristiano Ronaldo jokes:
Why did Cristiano Ronaldo cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why did Cristiano Ronaldo go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling a bit off-side!
Why is Cristiano Ronaldo like a computer?
Because he always needs upgrading!
Jokes about Lionel Messi
Why doesn’t Lionel Messi ever get sunburned?
Because he always wears a Barcelona jersey!
Why is Messi so good at soccer?
Because heMessi!
How does Messi stay in shape during the off-season?
He plays video games!
Jokes about Neymar
Neymar is one of the most popular soccer players in the world, so it’s no surprise that there are plenty of jokes about him. Here are a few of our favorites:
Why did Neymar cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why did Neymar go to the store?
To buy some soccer balls!
Why did Neymar go to the movies?
To see a film about his favorite sport!
Jokes About Soccer Teams
Soccer is the most popular sport in the world, enjoyed by millions of people of all ages. But it’s not always serious business! Here are some funny soccer jokes to make your friends laugh.
Jokes about Manchester United
How many Manchester United players does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them. One to hold the bulb and the other 10 to scream “I’m not f*cking touching it!”
Why did Sir Alex Ferguson cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Jokes about Chelsea
Why does Chelsea always lose?
Because they’re a bunch of girls!
Jokes about Liverpool
Why are Liverpool fans always so unhappy?
Because they can never win the Premier League!
Jokes About Soccer Fans
If you’re looking for some laughs, check out these soccer jokes. From jokes about soccer fans to ones that make fun of the sport itself, there’s something here for everyone. So whether you’re a diehard soccer fan or someone who doesn’t know a thing about the sport, these jokes will have you laughing.
Jokes about England fans
Why don’t England fans ever drink tea?
Because they can’t find a pub!
Why are England fans always so tired?
Because they’re always backing the wrong team!
Why are England fans always so thirsty?
Because they can’t find a pub!
Why are England fans always so hungry?
Because they can’t find a kebab shop!
Jokes about Spanish fans
Why are Spanish fans always crying?
Because their team is always in last place!
Why don’t Spanish fans ever wave their flags during the national anthem?
They can’t find anyone to hold the other end!
Why are Spanish fans always falling asleep at soccer games?
Because all of the action is on the TV!
How do you stop a Spanish fan from charging the field?
You take away his credit card!
Jokes about Italian fans
Why do Italian fans wear scarves?
Because they’ve never seen a soccer game!
Why is an Italian soccer stadium like a garlic crusher?
Because it takes two tons of pressure to get a goal!
What do you call an Italian with two brain cells?
A witness!
