Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of funny priest and rabbi jokes. From religious puns to irreverent one-liners, we’ve got something for everyone.
Checkout this video:
Table of Contents
Joke One
Why did the priest cross the road?
To get to the other church!
Joke Two
Two men, a rabbi and a priest, are walking down the street. The rabbi says to the priest, “I wish we could switch places for just one day.” The priest says, “That would be interesting. But why?” The rabbi says, “I’ve always wanted to try being a priest, and you’ve always wanted to try being a rabbi.” The priest says, “I don’t know if that’s true.” The rabbi says, “Well, let’s switch places and find out.” So they switch places.
The rabbi is sitting in the confessional when a man comes in and says, “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.” The rabbi says, “What have you done?” The man says, “I committed adultery with my neighbor’s wife.” The rabbi says, “That’s a terrible thing to do. I forgive you.”
The man is relieved and happy as he leaves the confessional. Then the rabbi’s wife comes in and say,” Forgive me father for I have sinned.” The rabbi says,” What have you done?” She replies,” I committed adultery with your brother.” The rabbi is shocked and horrified. He thinks for a moment and then tells her,” That’s even worse than what the man did! I absolutely do not forgive you!”
Joke Three
Three men were in a bar having a drink. The first man said, “I’ve got the funniest priest joke ever.” The second man said, “I don’t want to hear it. I’m a priest.” The third man said, “I don’t want to hear it either. I’m a rabbi.”
Joke Four
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Joke Five
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Joke Six
Why did the priest cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Joke Seven
A rabbi and a priest were sitting together on a park bench one day. The rabbi said, “You know, Father, I’ve always wanted to ask you something. How come your God is so concerned with sex? Our God doesn’t seem to care about it at all.”
The priest thought for a moment and then said, “Well, Rabbi, I think it has something to do with Original Sin. You see, when Adam and Eve were first created, they were perfect. But then they sinned, and ever since then, sex has been a part of human nature. So God has to deal with it.”
The rabbi nodded his head in understanding. Then he said, “Father, I have another question for you. How come yourGod is so concerned with money? Our God doesn’t seem to care about it at all.”
Again, the priest thought for a moment before replying. “Well, Rabbi, I think it has something to do with the fact that humans are never satisfied. We’re always wanting more and more money. So God has to deal with it.”
The rabbi nodded his head in understanding once again. Then he said, “Father, one more question. How come yourGod is so concerned with violence? Our God doesn’t seem to care about it at all.”
Again, the priest thought for a moment before answering. “Well Rabbi,” he said slowly, “I think it has something to do with the fact that humans are also capable of great good. We have the ability to love and care for each other. But we also have the ability to hurt and kill each other. So God has to deal with both sides of human nature.”
Joke Eight
How many rabbis does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but it takes four to form a minyan.
Joke Nine
Q: What’s the difference between a rabbi and a priest?
A: A rabbi knows he’s not God.
Joke Ten
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
