If you’re looking for a good laugh, check out these funny pregnancy jokes. From the father-to-be’s perspective to the mother-to-be’s cravings, these jokes will have you in stitches.
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Trying to get pregnant can be a roller coaster of emotion. Some days you feel like you are on top of the world, and others you feel like you are at the bottom. But one thing that can always make you feel better is a good laugh. Here are some funny pregnancy jokes to make you laugh.
Jokes about morning sickness
Why did the pregnant lady start her day with a glass of prune juice?
Because she knows that breakfast is the most important meal of the day!
How do you know if a woman is pregnant with twins?
She yells at two dogs instead of one.
What’s the best way to avoid getting pregnant?
Don’t have sex.
Jokes about cravings
1. I’m not saying that I’m pregnant, but I’ve gained weight and my cravings have changed. Suddenly, everything revolves around food.
2. If you think pregnancy cravings are bad, just wait until you see what they turn into when you’re actually pregnant.
3. I’m not pregnant, but I have been known to crave pickles and ice cream at the same time.
4. Pregnancy cravings are like a box of chocolates… you never know what you’re going to get.
5. I’m not pregnant, but I am craving something strange… a cheeseburger with chocolate sauce on it.
Jokes about weight gain
Pregnancy is a time when many women worry about their weight. If you’re looking to lighten the mood with some pregnancy jokes about weight gain, here are a few that are sure to get a chuckle.
How does a pregnant woman know she’s gained too much weight?
When she has to roll over twice to get out of bed!
What’s the best way to avoid gaining too much pregnancy weight?
Don’t have twins!
Why did the pregnant woman go to the all-you-can-eat buffet?
Because she was craving for two!
How does a pregnant woman know she’s getting close to her due date?
She starts having cravings for labor!
Jokes about mood swings
Q. What’s the best way to describe a pregnant woman’s mood swings?
A. Like a rollercoaster – up one minute, down the next!
I was so excited to finally become a mom, but the delivery was really tough. The doctor told me to push, but I just couldn’t do it. Eventually, the doctor got so frustrated that he started to yell at me. He said, “I’m going to count to three, and if you don’t start pushing, I’m going to have to cut the baby out!”
Jokes about labor
What do you call a woman in labor?
A: A hostage taker!
What do you call a woman who needs an epidural?
A: A hostage negotiator!
Why is childbirth like a software update?
A: Because it takes forever and it’s usually painful!
Jokes about epidurals
1. I asked for an epidural but the anesthesiologist said I was too late – my baby was already crowning!
2. An epidural is like getting a drive-thru spinal tap.
3. My epidural didn’t work – the next day I had to get a C-section!
4. I wanted an epidural but the anesthesiologist said I couldn’t have one because I was “too tall.”
5. Epidurals are like getting a spa treatment for your spine.
6. The best part about an epidural is that you don’t have to worry about peeing yourself during labor!
Jokes about delivery room mishaps
We all know that labor and delivery can be a trying and difficult time for both mom and baby. But every once in a while, things can go wrong in the delivery room, leading to some humorous (and sometimes not-so-humorous) situations.
Here are a few Delivery Room Mishaps:
1. The doctor delivered the wrong baby!
2. The doctor delivered the baby feet first!
3. The doctor delivered the baby breech (butt first)!
4. The mother went into labor in the taxi on the way to the hospital!
5. The father fainted at the sight of blood!
6. The mother gave birth in the elevator!
7. Baby was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck!
Jokes about sleep deprivation
Newborns don’t sleep through the night. It’s a fact of life that every parent just has to deal with. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun with it. Here are some funny jokes about sleep deprivation that every exhausted parent can relate to.
Why did the newborn cross the road?
To get to the other diaper!
How do you know a newborn is well-rested?
When they wake up screaming!
Why did the newborn go to the library?
To check out some bedtime stories!
Why does a newborn cry?
Because they know they have to go back
Jokes about dirty diapers
What’s the difference between a dirty diaper and a pregnancy test?
-A dirty diaper can be taken off.
Jokes about baby’s firsts
What’s a baby’s favorite food?
What’s a baby’s favorite game?
What’s a baby’s favorite way to travel?
In a stroller!
A good sense of humor is essential for enjoying the journey of parenthood. After all, parenting is full of highs and lows, and you need to be able to laugh at the lows. If you’re looking for some humor to get you through the tough times, look no further than these funny pregnancy jokes.
Jokes about toddler tantrums
Having a toddler can be a handful – literally. From the terrible twos to full-blown tantrums, toddlers can certainly test your patience. But even in the midst of all the chaos, there’s still room for laughter. Here are 10 jokes about toddler tantrums that are sure to make you laugh.
1. Why did the mom cross the road?
To get to the other tantrum.
2. How do you keep a toddler from climbing out of their crib?
Tie them to it!
3. How many toddlers does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one – but it will take hours and there will be a lot of crying.
4. What do you call a toddler with no energy?
A couch potato.
5. How do you stop a tantrum? With duct tape!
6. What’s the best way to Discipline a toddler? Public humiliation – put them in time out at the grocery store! Everyone will stare and they’ll be so embarrassed they’ll never misbehave again!
7. What’s the difference between a tornado and a tantrum? Tornadoes only last for a few minutes…tantrums last much longer!
8. How do you make a great Toddler smoothie? Put them in blender until smooth!
9. How do you keep your Toddler from runny noses? Don’t follow them around with toilet paper!
Jokes about potty training
Q. What’s the best way to potty train a kid?
A. With lots of patience and a sense of humor!
Q. How do you know when a kid is ready to start potty training?
A. When they start asking for diapers!
Q. What’s the best way to encourage a kid to use the potty?
A. With songs, dance, and bribery!
Jokes about the “terrible twos”
It’s said that parenting is the toughest job you’ll ever love. But anyone who’s been through the “terrible twos” knows that there are plenty of days when it doesn’t feel very loving. If you’re in the middle of this challenging stage, take a break and enjoy some laughs with these funny jokes about the “terrible twos.”
Why are the terrible twos so terrible?
Some say it’s because two-year-olds are spoiled brats who haven’t yet learned to share or say please and thank you. Others say it’s because they have boundless energy and seem to be perpetually testing limits. Whatever the reason, parenting a two-year-old can be trying at times. Luckily, there’s one thing that can help make the tough days a little bit better — humor!
If you need a good laugh (and let’s face it, we all do sometimes), check out these funny jokes about the terrible twos. Trust us, they’re sure to make you laugh — even if your two-year-old is driving you crazy at the moment!
Why did the mother cross the road?
To get to the other tantrum!
What do you call a two-year-old with no temper?
How do you keep a two-year-old busy?
Turn off theInternet and watch them go crazy!