Funny Pistachio Jokes to Make You Laugh

If you’re looking for a good laugh, check out our collection of funny pistachio jokes. We guarantee you’ll be laughing in no time!

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Bad Pistachio Jokes

Q: Why don’t pistachios have any friends?
A: Because they’re always a little nutty!

Q: Why did the pistachio go to the doctor?
A: He was feeling a little nutty!

Q: What do you call a pistachio that’s been hit by a car?
A: A squashed nut!

Good Pistachio Jokes

-Why did the pistachio go to the doctor?
-Because he wasn’t feeling himself!

-Why did the pistachio cross the road?
-To get to the other side!

-What do you call a pistachio who’s been working out?


Pistachio was walking through the park one day when he stumbled upon a lamp. He rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, “I will grant you one wish.”

The Story of the Pistachio

Once upon a time, there was a little nut named Pistachio. He was different than all the other nuts because he was green. All the other nuts were brown.

Pistachio didn’t mind being different. He actually liked it. But one day, he overheard some of the other nuts making fun of him. They were calling him names and saying that he was weird.

That made Pistachio sad. But he didn’t let it stop him from being himself. He knew that he was just as good as any of the other nuts – even if he was different.

The Story of the Two Pistachios

Once upon a time, there were two pistachios who lived in the same shell. They were best friends and did everything together. One day, they decided to go for a walk and see the world outside of their shell.

The first pistachio stuck his head out and immediately pulled it back in. “It’s too bright out there,” he said. “I don’t want to go.”

The second pistachio thought for a moment and then said, “Well, I’m going to go out and explore.” So he put his head out of the shell and started walking.

The first pistachio called after him, “Be careful! I’m worried about you!” But the second pistachio just kept walking until he was out of sight.

The first pistachio waited for his friend to come back, but he never did. He was so worried that something had happened to him that he decided to go out and look for him.

It didn’t take long for him to find his friend. The second pistachio had been eaten by a bird!

The first pistachio was so sad that he vowed never to leave his shell again. And he lived happily ever after.

Fun Facts

Pistachios are a type of nut that is native to Asia. The name “pistachio” comes from the Persian word “pesteh”, which means “plant” or “seed”. The pistachio tree can reach a height of 20 feet and can live for up to 200 years.

Interesting Pistachio Facts

Pistachios are believed to be the oldest edible seed in the world.

The shell of a pistachio is actually its fruit, which ripens and then dries around the seed. The word “pistachio” comes from the Persian f?st?k, which means “green.”

Pistachios are considered a member of the cashew family, along with poison ivy and sumac!

Americans eat almost one billion pounds of pistachios each year, making them one of the most popular nuts in the United States.

Pistachios are often used as an ingredient in ice cream, cookies, and other desserts.

Nutritional Facts

Pistachios are a good source of vitamins and minerals, including phosphorus, potassium, magnesium, vitamin B6, and thiamin. They are also a good source of fiber and protein. One ounce (28 grams) of pistachios contains about 160 calories, 7 grams of protein, 3 grams of fiber, and 13 grams of fat.

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