Funny Orchestra Jokes to Make Your Music Rehearsals More Bearable

We all know that orchestra rehearsals can be pretty tedious. But there’s no need to suffer in silence! Here are some funny orchestra jokes to help make your rehearsals more bearable.

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Jokes about Orchestral Instruments

If you’re looking for a few laughs to lighten the mood during your next rehearsal, look no further than these orchestra jokes. From the tuba to the triangle, we’ve got all the bases covered.

Jokes about the violin

Why are violins the smartest instruments in the orchestra?
Because they know when to come in, and when to stay out!

Why was the violinist arrested?
For fiddling around!

Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one would look for them!

Jokes about the cello

Why is a cello so hard to tune?
Because it’s the wrong size for a violin.

Why don’t cellists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.

What does a cellist use for contraception?
A tuba condom.

Jokes about the French horn

Why don’t French horns play solo?

Because they can’t get together on which note to start on!

Why did the chicken cross the road in front of the French horn player?

To get to the other B flat!

Why did the French horn player put his instrument in the fridge?

He wanted to keep his hand in!

Jokes about Orchestral Music

Orchestral music is a beautiful and complex art form that takes years of practice and dedication to master. However, it can also be quite tedious and dry at times. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of funny orchestra jokes to make your music rehearsals more bearable.

Jokes about Beethoven

Why did Beethoven kill his chicken?
Because it kept saying “Bach, Bach, Bach!”

Why did Beethoven pour hot coffee on his piano?
Because he was a bit Steinway!

How many Beethovens does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven. One to do it and six to sway approvingly.

Jokes about Bach

Why did Bach cross the road?

To get to the other symphony!

Jokes about Mozart

Q: What did Mozart say when his piano caught fire?
A: Piano-Joke-y!

Q: How many bassoons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but they’ll probably just complain about how this isn’t the way Bach would have done it.

Q: How do you get two piccolos to play in tune?
A: Shoot one!

Jokes about Orchestral Conductors

Jokes about Leonard Bernstein

Q: If you were to crawl up Leonard Bernstein’s leg, what would you find?
A: A orchestra.

Q: How did Leonard Bernstein make his violin concerts sound so loud?
A: He leaned back.

Q. How is a symphony like a Blonde?
A. Both have a lot of big sections.

Jokes about John Williams

Why did John Williams cross the road?
To get to the other orchestra!

Why is John Williams such a good conductor?
Because he always gets Bach!

Why did John Williams leave the symphony?
Because he couldn’t keep up with the rest of the orchestra!

Jokes about Gustav Mahler

Gustav Mahler was a world-famous conductor in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. His music was very emotional and sometimes quite disturbing. Some people say that his music was so dark that it could only be appreciated by people who were depressed or had a very dark sense of humor.

Mahler once said, “A symphony is like a world in miniature.” He also said, “My music is best understood by children and animals.”

Here are some jokes about Gustav Mahler:

Q: How many Gustav Mahler symphonies does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes a very long time and you have to keep hitting the light bulb with a hammer until it finally changes.

Q: What’s the difference between a elephant and an orchestra?
A: An orchestra has better musicians.

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