Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of funny nut jokes. From squirrels to cashews, we’ve got all the laughs you need!
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Some people are serious about their nuts, while others like to joke around about them. If you’re in the latter category, then you’ll love these funny nut jokes. From puns to one-liners, they’re all guaranteed to make you laugh.
Why did the squirrel cross the road?
To get to the other side!
What do you call a nut that can’t make up its mind?
A Schiz nuts!
What do you call a nut that’s always gambling?
The Best Nut Jokes
Nuts are a great source of protein and essential nutrients, but they’re also pretty funny. Here are some of the best nut jokes to make you laugh.
The Squirrel Joke
A man was out walking in the forest when he saw a squirrel running up a tree. The man called out to the squirrel, “Hey, buddy! What are you doing?”
The squirrel replied, “I’m collecting nuts for the winter.”
The man laughed and said, “You’re wasting your time! There are no nuts on those trees!”
The squirrel shrugged and replied, “Yes, but I’ll have the best collection in the forest!”
The Peanut Joke
A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks, “You want a beer?” The man says, “No, I want a peanut.” The bartender gives him a peanut and the man leaves.
The next day, the man walks into the bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks, “You want a beer?” The man says, “No, I want a peanut.” The bartender gives him a peanut and the man leaves.
This continues for several days until finally the man walks into the bar and the bartender says, “Look, buddy, you come in here every day and ask for a beer. I give you a peanut and you leave. What’s going on?”
The man replied, “I’m training for high jump.”
The Cashew Joke
What do you call a nut with a sense of humor?
The Funniest Nut Jokes
We all know that nuts are a great source of protein, fiber, and healthy fats. But did you know that they’re also a great source of laughs? Here are some of the funniest nut jokes to crack you up.
The Almond Joke
An almond walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve nuts.”
The almond says, “Oh, I’m not a nut. I’m an almond.”
The bartender says, “Oh, sorry. We don’t serve almonds either.”
The Pistachio Joke
Why did the pistachio nut go to the hospital?
Because he was feeling a little nutty!
The Walnut Joke
Why did the walnut go to the therapist?
Because he was feeling nutty!
And there you have it, our collection of funny nut jokes to make you laugh. We hope you enjoyed them and that they brought a smile to your face. If you have any other favourite nut jokes, be sure to share them with us in the comments below.