The Funniest NFL Jokes You’ve Never Heard

We’ve all heard the classic NFL jokes, but what about the ones that are so bad they’re actually good? Here are some of the funniest NFL jokes you’ve never heard!

Checkout this video:

Jokes about NFL players

If you’re a fan of the NFL, then you’re going to love these jokes about NFL players. We’ve compiled a list of the funniest jokes about NFL players that you’ve never heard before. These jokes are sure to make you laugh out loud.

Jokes about Tom Brady

What does Gisele Bundchen and a cheeseburger from McDonalds have in common?

They’re both better without the lettuce and tomato!

Why can’t Tom Brady ever have a sack lunch?

Because he can never get past the line!

Why did Tom Brady only want one slice of pizza?

Because he had deflated appetite!

Jokes about Peyton Manning

Why did Peyton Manning cross the road?

To get to the other Super Bowl!

Why did Peyton Manning retire?

Because he was tired of winning Super Bowls!

Jokes about Aaron Rodgers

What do you call an Aaron Rodgers touchdown pass?

A miracle!

Jokes about NFL teams

The NFL is a tough game. It’s a game of inches and milliseconds. A game where the slightest mistake can mean the difference between winning and losing. But it’s also a game that can be pretty funny. Here are some jokes about NFL teams that you’ve probably never heard before.

Jokes about the New England Patriots

Why can’t the New England Patriots read a map? – Because Tom Brady keeps losing them.

Why don’t the New England Patriots have a website? – Because they can’t string three “Ws” together.

What’s the difference between the New England Patriots and a mosquito? – A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it!

Why couldn’t New England find their way to the Super Bowl? – Because Belichick lost the map.

How many New England Patriots does it take to change a lightbulb? – One, but he has to have it pried out of his cold, dead hands.

Jokes about the Green Bay Packers

Why does Green Bay have to keep their Lombardi trophies in a refrigerator?
Because if they left them out, the Bears would steal them!

Why can’t you have a birthday party in Green Bay in January?
Because it might be too icy for the guests!

Why didn’t anyone bid for Green Bay in the NFL’s recent auction?
Because the only people who want to live there are the Packers!

Jokes about the Seattle Seahawks

Why can’t the Seahawks use a jokester in their huddle?
Because they’ve already used all their offensive lineman!

Why don’t Seahawks fans ever barbecue?
Because the pigs never fly!

Why are there always more Seahawks fans at the bottom of rivers than at the top of mountains?
Because they’re always drowning!

How do you keep a Seahawks fan from being homeless?
Give him two quarters and tell him to go away!

Jokes about NFL fans

Jokes about Dallas Cowboys fans

Why don’t Cowboys fans like to use AIDS jokes?

Because they’re too afraid of getting Dallas Cowboys fans.

What do you call a Dallas Cowboys fan with half a brain?


How many Dallas Cowboys fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but he’ll get 3 more to hold the ladder and another to catch the bulb when it falls!

Why are there so many empty seats at Dallas Cowboy games?

Because all their fans are in jail!

Jokes about Pittsburgh Steelers fans

Why do so many Pittsburgh Steelers fans wear black and gold?
Because those are the colors of a stop sign!

Why are there only two colors on the Pittsburgh Steelers’ flag?
Because they couldn’t fit all of their Super Bowl titles on it!

What’s the difference between a Pittsburgh Steelers fan and a carp?
One is a bottom-feeding, scum-sucking scavenger, and the other is a fish.

How do you break a Pittsburgh Steelers fan’s jaw?
Punch him in the Baltimore Ravens t-shirt he’s wearing!

Jokes about New York Jets fans

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side of the Jets’ season.

Photo of author

About the author