A collection of the best funny musician jokes from around the web. If you’re a musician or you just love music, you’ll enjoy these jokes!
Checkout this video:
Jokes about Musicians
Musician Jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side… of the stage!
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “p” is silent!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
How does a music professor fix a broken car? With A C-flat!
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine!
Musician Puns
Why are musicians always so tired?
Because they have to keep rhythm!
Musician One-Liners
Why did the musician break up with his girlfriend?
Because she took him for granted!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other gig!
How many musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one – but he’ll need a roadie to set it up for him!
Jokes about Music
If you’re a musician, you know that people love to make jokes about you and your chosen profession. While some of these jokes can be quite clever, others are just plain old bad. But that’s okay, because we can all laugh at ourselves, right? Here are some of the best (and worst) musician jokes from around the web.
Music Jokes
Why did the musician break up with his girlfriend?
Because she took him for granted!
Why are musicians so bad at relationships?
Because they’re always on the road!
Why did the singer cross the road?
To get to the other chorus!
Why did the musician get fired from the grocery store?
Because he was caught stealing food!
Why did the hip hop star go to jail?
Because he was rapping about guns and drugs!
Music Puns
Why don’t conductors ever go to the beach?
Because they’re always in a rush!
Why did the musician break up with his girlfriend?
Because she took him for double bass!
Why are ghosts such bad liars?
Because they are easy to see through.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other BAND!
Music One-Liners
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other band!
Why are band directors always so calm?
Because they know where all the sharps and flats are!
Why did Mozart kill his chicken?
Because it kept saying, “Bach, Bach, Bach!”
Why do drummers always have trouble entering a room?
Because they never know when to come in!
Jokes about Instruments
Any musician will tell you, playing an instrument is no laughing matter. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for some hilarity. From the tiniest piccolo to the mightiest tuba, all instruments have their own distinctive place in the world of music. Check out these hilarious jokes about instruments and the people who play them.
Instrument Jokes
Why can’t you hear a pixie play the piano? Because they’re little faeries!
Why did Beethoven get rid of all his chickens? All his chicken jokes were in C!
How do you make a violin sound like a viola? Sit in the back and scratch your nails on the chalkboard.
Why did the piano get stuck in the doorway? Because it was an upright grand!
What do you call a piano at the beach? A frying pan.
Instrument Puns
Why are oboists such terrible liars?
Because their reed is always in their mouth!
Why can’t you hear a viola on a digital recording?
Because all the bits are in the right places.
Why is a violinist like a SCUD missile?
Both are offensive and inaccurate.
How many accordion players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but you have to beg him to do it.
Instrument One-Liners
Why can’t a bicycle stand up on its own? Because it’s…two tired!
Why did the drum feel lonely? Because the cymbal was always high hat!
Why was the piano invented? So the musician would have a place to put his beer!
What’s a musician’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na!
How do you describe perfect pitch? When an accordion doesn’t smell!
What’s the difference between an onion and an accordion? No one cries when you chop up an accordion!
Why are violas so large? So that violinists can read music on them!
Why don’t cellists play cards on trains? Because they get thrown off by the conductor!
