Funny Mortgage Jokes to Make You Smile

If you’re in the mood for a little laughter, check out our list of funny mortgage jokes. From the trials and tribulations of home buying to the joys of being a homeowner, we’ve got jokes to make you smile.

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Jokes about the Mortgage Process

Q: Why is the mortgage process so daunting?
A: Because it’s such a RAT race!

Q: How can you tell if someone is a first-time home buyer?
A: They’ll ask you how much the mortgage payments will be.

Q: How can you tell if someone is a seasoned home buyer?
A: They’ll ask you how much the monthly payments will be.

Jokes about Mortgage Lenders

What do you call a mortgage lender who’s always asking for more money?

A loan shark!

Why did the mortgage lender cross the road?

To get to the other side of the street!

Why did the refinancing application get rejected?

Because it was below the minimum credit score!

Jokes about Mortgage Professionals

Q:Why did the mortgage professional cross the road?
A:To get to the other side!

Q:Why did the pigged out mortgage professional cross the road?
A:To get to the other trough!

Q.What do you call two birds sitting on a branch?
A. A down payment!

Q.Why don’t sharks eat mortgage professionals?
A. Professional courtesy!

Jokes about Homeowners

Homeownership has its ups and downs, but at the end of the day, it’s a rewarding experience. In honor of National Homeowners Day, we’re sharing some of our favorite jokes about homeowners.

Q: What’s a homeowner’s favorite flower?
A: A dandelion!

Q: How does a homeowner keep from getting lost in the forest?
A: By not leaving the kitchen!

Q: How can you tell if a homeowner is smiling?
A: By the number of windows in their house!

Q. Why did the homeowners association tell the couple they couldn’t keep their chickens?
A. They were violating the HOA’s chicken bylaw!

Jokes about the Housing Market

Are you a fan of puns? Do you like to laugh at jokes about the housing market? If so, you’re in for a treat! Here are some of our favorite funny mortgage jokes to make you smile.

What do you call a house that’s worth less than it was a year ago? A short sale!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the foreclosure sign!

What’s the difference between a real estate agent and a vampire? A vampire only sucks blood during business hours!

Why did the Realtor cross the road? To get to her office on the other side!

How do you know if a real estate agent is lying to you? Their lips are moving!

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