Looking for a little lighthearted fun? Check out our top 10 marching band jokes – perfect for when you need a break from the grind!
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Table of Contents
Introduction
Humor is an important part of any marching band performance. It helps to break the ice and gets the audience on your side. Here are 10 funny marching band jokes that will have your audience laughing out loud.
1.Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other band!
2.Why did the boy join the marching band?
Because he couldn’t find a drum set!
3.How do you make a trombone sound like a French horn?
Put your hand in the bell and play lots of high notes!
4.How do you make a trumpet sound like a trombone?
Muffle the tone with a piece of cloth!
5.What’s the difference between a drumline and a parade?
A drumline can actually keep a beat!
6.Why was the bassoonist fired from the circus?
Because he always made clowns cry!
7.What’s the difference between first chair flute and BBQ sauce?
Nobody cries over BBQ sauce!
8.Why don’t oboists drink coffee before performances?
Because it makes them pee-a-boo!
9.What do you call 50 saxophones at the bottom of the ocean? A good start!
The Best Marching Band Jokes
As a marching band member, you know that humor is an important part of being in a band. It helps to build team morale and makes the long hours of practice and performances more bearable. Jokes also help to break the ice with new members and make everyone feel like they are part of the team. Here are 10 marching band jokes that will have you laughing out loud.
“Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other band!”
Humor is often marching band jokes. Here are 10 funny marching band jokes you need to know.
1. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other band!
2. How many drum majors does it take to change a light bulb?Only one, but he’ll need a whole team of assistants to help him!
3. How do you know a trombone player is at your door?He can’t find the key and he comes in anyway!
4. What’s the difference between a Drum Major and a totalitarian dictator?The dictator knows when to stop talking!
5. What’s the difference between a tuba and a chainsaw?The chainsaw has personality!
6. How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?Five: one to do it, and four to tell him how much better they could have done it!
7. What’s the difference between a French horn and a trampoline?You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline!
8. How many bassoonists does it take to change a light bulb?Just one, but he’ll go through 20 bulbs before he finds just the right one!9. What’s the difference between an oboe and an onion?No one cries when you chop up an oboe!10. What do you call a group of baritone players standing in a circle?A conspiracy of noise-makers!
“Why did the percussionist break up with his girlfriend? Because she took him for granted.”
Why did the percussionist break up with his girlfriend? Because she took him for granted.
Why did the oboist break up with his girlfriend? Because she was a little too sharp.
Why did the clarinetist break up with his girlfriend? Because she was a little too flat.
Why did the trombone player break up with his girlfriend? Because she was a little too slide-y.
Why did the trumpet player break up with his girlfriend? Because she was a little too blow-y.
Why did the bassoonist break up with his girlfriend? Because she was a little too woody.
“How do you make a trombone sound like a French horn? Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.”
Here are 10 hilarious marching band jokes that will have you laughing out loud.
1. How do you make a trombone sound like a French horn? Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.
2. How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but they’ll insist on taking the piano too.
3. How can you tell if there’s a drummer at your door? The knock gets faster as they count down from four.
4. If you took all the oboists in the world and put them end to end, would they reach the moon? Probably not, but they’d get pretty close.
5. How did the percussionist break his arm? He fell out of a tree trying to hit a bird with a stick.
6. What’s the difference between an oboist and a bassoonist? An oboist burns dinner for two, while a bassoonist burns dinner for four.
7. Why are tubas so big? Because if they were any smaller, they wouldn’t be able to fit all their parts inside.
8. Why is it so hard to tune a brass instrument? Because there are so many of them!
plenty more where that came from!
“Why did the band director get fired? Because he couldn’t keep time!”
1. Why did the band director get fired? Because he couldn’t keep time!
2. How many band directors does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but he’ll need about 300 students to help him!
3. How does a conductor know when a piece is finished? When all the instruments stop playing and the managers come out to collect them!
4. What’s the difference between a Wagnerian opera and a marching band? The marching band has more trombones!
5. How do you make a trombone sound like a French horn? Stick your hand in the bell and play very quietly!
6. What’s the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? With a drum machine you only have to punch the information in once!
7. A musician died and went to heaven, but was told he couldn’t enter until he could answer three questions: 1) What is Middle C? 2) How many sharps are in F major? 3) What’s the range of an oboe? He thought for awhile, then went back and asked his bassoonist buddy what Middle C was. The bassoonist told him, “C’s right in the middle of B-flat and B-natural.” So he went back and wrote down “B-flat” as his answer to the first question. For question two, he asked his friend how many sharps were in F major–“Well,” said his friend, “F can be either sharp or flat!” The musician thought for awhile longer, then returned to heaven and wrote down “1 sharp” for question two. Then he remembered that his friend had also told him that oboe’s range was from B-flat below middle C up 2 octaves plus 2 notes–so he wrote down “B-flat below middle C up 2 octaves plus 2 notes.” The next day all three questions were on the test–and he got them all right!!
“Why are band directors always so tired? Because they have to keep an eye on so many bassoons!”
Why are band directors always so tired? Because they have to keep an eye on so many bassoons!
Why did the clarinetist break up with the oboist? Because she was always Baton about everything!
What does a percussionist say when he gets lost? “What’s that noise?”
Why is a music stand like a wounded duck? Because it can’t stand up by itself!
What’s the difference between a conductor and a babysitter? The babysitter knows when to stop!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other band rehearsal!
How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn? Stick your hand in the bell and play very softly!
Why are violas so large? So violinists can read music on them!
“Why did the band director cross the road? To get to the other band!”
Why did the band director cross the road? To get to the other band!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to band camp!
Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because they are easy to see through.
What’s a musician’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na!
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
How do you throw a space party? You planet!
What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of the day? Launch time!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
How do you keep a drummer in suspense? I’ll tell you tomorrow!
“Why did the band director get fired? Because he couldn’t keep time!”
Why did the band director get fired? Because he couldn’t keep time! Here are some other funny marching band jokes to keep you entertained:
Q: Why can’t you hear a marching band on the moon?
A: Because they left their instruments at home!
Q: How do you fix a broken tuba?
A: With a tuba glue!
Q: How do you know when a trombone player is at your door?
A: The knock speeds up!
Q. Who was the first bandleader in outer space?
A. A-flat Einstine!
Q. What’s a difference between a drum and a tuba?
A. You can tune a drum but you can’t tuna fish!
Q. How do you throw away a used tissue in a marching band?
A. Put it in the percussion section!
Q. How does a grumpy marching band director deal with insomnia?
A. He ticks off sheep one by one!
“Why are band directors always so tired? Because they have to keep an eye on so many bassoons!”
Why are band directors always so tired? Because they have to keep an eye on so many bassoons!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side band!
Why are tubas so big? Because they have such big mouths!
Why did the musician put his piano in the trash? Because he was sick of the sound of the same old scale!
How do you know when a trombone player is at your door? You can hear him coming a mile away!
How do you fix a broken tuba? With a “tuba Glue”!
What’s the difference between a DEAD clarinet player and a RED one? The dead one’s still emitting sound waves… but they’re just not very good ones.
“Why did the band director cross the road? To get to the other band!”
Why did the band director cross the road? To get to the other band!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the marching band!
Why did the oboe player cross the road? Because she couldn’t figure out how to get her instrument in her car!
What’s a musician’s favorite fruit? A musi-cherry!
What do you call a chicken in a band? A drumstick!
What’s a music major’s favorite type of food? Take-out!
How do you fix a broken tuba? With a tuba glue!
How do you make a trombone sound like a French horn? Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes!
“Why did the band director get fired? Because he couldn’t keep time!”
Why did the band director get fired? Because he couldn’t keep time!
Why don’t you ever hear jokes about barbers? Because they’re always cut-ting!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other band!
Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because they are easy to see through.
Why did Beethoven kill his chicken?Because it kept saying “BACH, BACH, BACH!”
Why are sharks such bad dancers? Because they have two left feet!
How do you get a musician off your front porch? Pay him for the pizza!
What do you call a group of impolite, obnoxious musicians? A garage band!
Why can’t you take a guitar to an orc campaign? Because they’re afraid of crushing the evidence.
Conclusion
We hope you enjoyed our list of marching band jokes! Do you have any favorite marching band jokes that we didn’t include? Let us know in the comments below!
