Looking for a way to make jury duty a little more bearable? Check out our collection of funny jokes to help you get through it!
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We all know that jury duty can be a drag. But it doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom! Here are some funny jokes to get you through your day in court.
-Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
-Why did the duck go to jail? Because he was a quack!
-Why did the judge bang his gavel? Because he wanted to take a recess!
-Why did the lawyer cross the road? To get to his client!
The Case of the Boring Judge
A very dull looking man was on trial for armed robbery. There was no question that he had indeed robbed the store, but his defense lawyer was trying to get him off on the grounds of temporary insanity.
When the Judge asked him how he plead, the man said, “Not guilty, your Honor. I was insane at the time.”
The Judge said, “How do you know you were insane at the time?”
The man replied, “Because I woke up this morning and found this gun in my hand.”
The Case of the Sleeping Defendant
You’re on jury duty in a boring criminal case. The defendant, who’s been sitting quietly next to his expensive lawyer, has elected to have a trial by jury. As the evidence and testimony drone on, you notice the defendant’s eyes slowly close. His head starts nodding and pretty soon, he’s sound asleep!
The prosecutor notices too, and asks the judge to wake the defendant up and ask him if he’s understood everything that’s going on. The judge does as he’s asked, and the defendant rubs his eyes and says that he’s sorry, but he didn’t get a wink of sleep last night.
The judge tells him that’s not an acceptable excuse and orders him to pay a fine of $50 for falling asleep during jury duty. When the defendant reaches into his pocket for his wallet, the prosecutor jumps up and yells “I object!”
The judge asks why and the prosecutor says “Your Honor, I noticed that when the defendant reached into his pocket for his wallet, he also removed a white powdery substance. I believe this is cocaine!”
The shocked defendant denies it, but a police officer runs over with a field test kit and sure enough, it tests positive for cocaine. The judge orders the defendant to be taken away and hold for trial.
As he’s being led out of the courtroom by the police officer, the defendant turns to his lawyer and whispers “Great job! I thought we were going to have to use that line about not getting any sleep last night!”
The Case of the Confused Witness
A man is on trial for murder and the jury goes to deliberation. After an hour, they come back and the foreman says, “We have a unanimous verdict.”
The judge says, “What is the verdict?”
The foreman says, “We couldn’t agree on which one of he did it.”
The Case of the Boring Witness
A very pompous lawyer wascross-examining a witness. “Did not you hear me say during my questioning of the plaintiff that I would ask you only questions to which you could answer yes or no?”
“Yes, sir,” the witness replied.
“Sir, did you not hear me say that?” The lawyer asked again, insistsently.
The witness responded, “Yes, sir, I did.”
The lawyer then asked, “Sir, do you understand English?”
The Case of the Jokester
A man is on trial for murder and the jury enters the courtroom. The judge says “good afternoon ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Before we hear the evidence in this case I must make one announcement.
I have been informed that one of you has been selected to serve as the jury’s foreman. The person who has been selected has indicated that they cannot serve in this capacity due to a conflict of interest.
The person who has been selected is the defendant’s mother.”
The defendant’s mother stand up and objects, “Your Honor, I can’t be the foreman of this jury because I don’t believe my son is guilty of this crime.”
The judge responds, “Very well, you are excused from jury duty.”
The remaining eleven jurors then deliberate and find the man guilty as charged.
The Case of the Bored Jury
It was the case of the bored jury. After days of listening to tedious testimony in a murder trial, the jurors were getting restless. “This is taking forever,” one complained. “I wish they would just hurry up and reach a verdict so we can all go home.”
“I know what you mean,” another said. “I’m so bored, I could die.”
Suddenly, the judge banged his gavel and called for order. “One of you jurors has died,” he announced. “The court will now recess for an hour while the remaining eleven members choose a new foreman.”
The Case of the Boring Trial
You’re sitting in the jury box, staring at the back of the defendant’s head. He’s on trial for some crime, but you can’t remember what it is. The prosecutor is droning on and on, and you can’t even focus on his words. All you can think about is how much you wish this were over.
Suddenly, the bailiff leans over and whispers in your ear, “I know this is boring, but try to pay attention. This guy is on trial for murder.”
The Case of the Confessing Defendant
The defendant in a criminal case is on the witness stand, telling his story. “I did it,” he says matter-of-factly. “I killed the victim with a knife. I stabbed him repeatedly in the chest until he was dead.”
The prosecutor looks stunned. The judge bangs his gavel and declares a recess. As the defendant is led away, he turns to the jury and winks.
The Case of the Boring Verdict
After days of testimony and deliberation, the jury was finally ready to deliver their verdict. The judge asked the foreman to stand and read the verdict.
“We find the defendant guilty of being extremely boring,” he said.
The defendant jumped up from his chair and shouted, “I knew it! I knew it! I’m finally getting the credit I deserve!”