The Funniest Jungle Cruise Jokes You’ll Hear

Looking for a good laugh? Check out our roundup of the funniest jokes you’ll hear on a Jungle Cruise!

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Welcome to the jungle! The Jungle Cruise is one of the most popular rides at Disney parks around the world, and for good reason. Not only is it a great adventure, but it’s also full of humor.

Here are some of the funniest jokes you’ll hear on the Jungle Cruise:

“I’m not wearing a watch, but I think it’s time to go.”

“We’re all looking forward to lunch… which we will be having in about three hours.”

“Please keep your hands and arms inside the boat at all times… unless you’re waving goodbye to your life jacket.”

The history of the Jungle Cruise

The history of the Jungle Cruise is a long and storied one. The attraction has been a staple at Disneyland since the park first opened its doors in 1955, and it has been delighting guests ever since.

The ride was originally conceived as a way to showcase the newly built Disneyland Adventureland, and it was designed to be an educational experience as well as a fun one. The original version of the ride was much longer and had many more animatronic animals than the version that guests enjoy today.

Over the years, the Jungle Cruise has undergone several changes, but its core concept has remained the same. The ride takes guests on a leisurely boat ride through a tropical jungle, where they can see exotic animals and experience some of the hazards of life in the wild.

One of the things that makes the Jungle Cruise so popular is its sense of humor. The attraction is known for its corny jokes and cheesy puns, which are delivered by the animatronic animals and your tour guide (aka the skipper).

Here are some of our favorite Jungle Cruise jokes:

Q: What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
A: One says “we’re going to Disney World!” and one says “are we there yet?”

Q: How do you know if there’s an elephant in your fridge?
A: Footprints in the peanut butter!

Q: What do you call a rhinoceros with a leaky faucet?
A: A pachyderm with drippy nasal discharge.

The best Jungle Cruise jokes

Assuming you’re of age and cleared to board, step right up for the funniest Jungle Cruise jokes you’ll hear on your way through the jungle. And if you’re not of age, or not cleared to board, maybe consider the kiddy version of the ride?

Jokes aside, the Jungle Cruise is one of Disneyland’s classic rides, and has been entertaining guests since 1955. The ride takes guests on a tour through various themed scene – including the Amazonian Jungle, an African jungle, and more.

And while the ride is full of thrills and excitement, it’s also known for its funny tour guide jokes. So, if you’re planning on taking a ride on the Jungle Cruise anytime soon – or if you’re just a fan of good jokes – be sure to check out our list of the best Jungle Cruise jokes below.

The worst Jungle Cruise jokes

1. If you want to hear a bad Jungle Cruise joke, just ask for one.
2. What’s the difference between a Jungle Cruise boat and a banana?
3. I don’t know, but I heard that one on the Jungle Cruise and it was terrible.

The funniest Jungle Cruise jokes

What do you call a mosquito with a top hat and a cane?
A dapper insect!

Why did the little monkey put a banana in his ear?
To remember where he left it!

Why did the tourists get lost in the jungle?
Because they took a wrong turn at the fork in the river!

What’s a crocodile’s favorite TV show?
All my children!

Why are there so many mosquitoes in the Amazon jungle?
Because that’s where they live!

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