The Funniest John Mulaney Jokes

Check out some of the funniest jokes that stand-up comedian John Mulaney has ever told. From his early days as a writer for Saturday Night Live to his current comedy specials, Mulaney always has something funny to say.

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John Mulaney is a stand-up comedian, actor, and writer. He is known for his work on Saturday Night Live, where he was a writer and occasional performer, and for his stand-up comedy specials The Comeback Kid, New in Town, and The Top Part. Mulaney has also appeared in a number of films, such as Grown Ups 2, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, and Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation.

Early Life and Career

John Mulaney was born on August 26, 1982, in Chicago, Illinois. He was raised Catholic and attended local schools. He then went on to attend Georgetown University. After college, he moved to New York City to pursue a career in comedy.

Mulaney began his comedy career as a writer for Saturday Night Live from 2008 to 2009. He also appeared on late-night talk shows and sitcoms such as 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation. In 2012, he released his first stand-up comedy album, The Top Part.

Mulaney’s big break came in 2013 with the premiere of his self-titled sitcom, Mulaney. The show was produced by NBC but it was quickly canceled due to low ratings. Despite the show’s failure, Mulaney continued to pursue a career in comedy. He released his second stand-up album, New in Town, in 2012. And in 2015, he created and starred in the Netflix original comedy series, The Comeback Kid.

Today, John Mulaney is one of the most popular stand-up comedians in the world. He continues to perform live and tour internationally. His brand of humor is smart, observational, and often self-deprecating.


Comedian John Mulaney is known for his clean, clever humor. He frequently jokes about his own life experiences, including growing up in Chicago, getting married, and becoming a father. Here are some of the funniest John Mulaney jokes.


Mulaney began his stand-up comedy career while in college. His first performances were at The Duplex Cabaret Theatre in New York City. In 2008, he appeared on Comedy Central’s Live at Gotham. In 2009, he released his first comedy album, The Top Part. He has since released two more albums, New in Town (2012) and The Comeback Kid (2015).

Mulaney has appeared on several late-night talk shows, including Late Night with Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, and Late Show with David Letterman. He has also been a writer on Saturday Night Live and Documentary Now!. In 2018, he created and starred in his own sitcom, Mulaney.


TV is a rotting log that a family of weasels fights over until they all die.-John Mulaney

I’m not saying that television is bad, I’m just saying that if you stare at it long enough, your brain will turn to mush and you will become a drooling, gibbering idiot.-John Mulaney

TV rots your brain. It’s like mental broccoli. -John Mulaney

Personal Life

Mulaney was born in Chicago, Illinois, to Ellen (née Farrell), a law professor, and Charles W. Mulaney Jr., a cardiologist. He is of Irish descent. He has two brothers, one of whom is a doctor. He attended St. Ignatius College Prep and Marquette University.

Mulaney began stand-up comedy while in college at Marquette University.


Whether you’re a fan of John Mulaney or not, there’s no denying that the man is funny. He’s been making people laugh for years, both on stage and on television, and shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon.

So, without further ado, here are the funniest John Mulaney jokes:

1. “I’m not really a feelings person, which is why I never went to law school. I would have made a terrible lawyer. ‘Objection! Your honor, this line of questioning is making me very uncomfortable.’”

2. “People always ask me, ‘John, how do you stay in such good shape?’ And I say, ‘I have no idea. Must be the genes.’ And then they go, ‘Oh, so it runs in the family?’ And I say, ‘No, we’re all just really lazy.”

3. “You know what they say: better late than never… or is it better never than late? I don’t know… I was never good at math.”

4. “I asked my therapist if she thought I had ADHD and she said no… but she did prescribe me Adderall anyway so…. Thanks?”

5. “I wish my therapist was as cheap as my weed guy. That would be amazing: ‘Hi Dr. Sanchez… yeah no this will be cash only.’”

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