The Funniest Jokes for the Ides of March

Looking for a laugh to get you through the Ides of March? Check out our roundup of the funniest jokes for the occasion!

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Jokes about Julius Caesar

Caesar: “What’s up, Brutus?”
Brutus: “The ides of March, Caesar.”

Why did Julius Caesar cross the Rubicon?
To get to the other side!

Julius Caesar walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “What’ll you have, Mr. President?” Caesar replies, “A martinus, please.” The bartender says, “You mean a martini?” Caesar says, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!”

Jokes about the Ides of March

1.Why did the chicken cross the road on the Ides of March?
To get to the other side!

2.Why did Julius Caesar cross the Rubicon?
To get to the other side!

3.Why did Julius Caesar go to the Ides of March?
To get to the other side!

4.What did Julius Caesar say on the Ides of March?
Et tu, Brute?

Jokes about Rome

1.Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the Colosseum.

2.Why was Julius Caesar upset when he got his haircut?
Because he got a lot of split ends!

3.What did Julius Caesar say when he saw a Goodyear blimp?
Et tu, Brute! (You too, Brutus!)

4.What’s the best way to describe ancient Rome?
One big ruins!

Jokes about Italy

What’s the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?
An Italian mother says, “Do as I say, not as I do.”
A Jewish mother says, “Do as I say, not as I think you should do.”

Jokes about the Roman Empire

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side of the empire!

Why was Caesar so paranoid?

Because Brutus was always behind him!

What did Julius Caesar say when he saw a UFO?

Et tu, Brute!

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