Looking for some funny housing jokes? We’ve got you covered! Check out our collection of jokes about everything from mortgages to moving.
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Jokes about the housing market
Jokes about mortgages
-What’s a mortgage? A loan that lets you live in your house until you can afford to buy it.
-What’s the difference between a mortgage and a tornado? A tornado only takes your house.
-What’s the difference between a mortgage and a snakeskin wallet? A snakeskin wallet might actually turn out to be worth something.
-Why is it so hard to get a second mortgage? Because the first one is still screwing up your finances.
-How can you tell if a Realtor is lying to you? Their lips are moving.
Jokes about real estate agents
Are you thinking about becoming a real estate agent? If so, you might want to think again — at least if you don’t have a sense of humor. Real estate agents are the butt of many jokes, and for good reason. They’re often times seen as pushy, dishonest, and manipulative. But not all real estate agents are like that! In fact, many of them are hardworking, honest people who are just trying to make a living.
If you can’t take a joke, then being a real estate agent is probably not the right job for you. But if you can laugh at yourself, then you might just have what it takes to succeed in this business. Here are some funny jokes about real estate agents that will make you smile (or groan).
Why did the real estate agent cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why did the real estate agent go into business?
Because he wanted to make a lot of money!
What do you call a real estate agent who doesn’t show houses?
Jokes about home buyers
Why did the home buyer cross the road?
To get to the other side of the housing market!
Why did the chicken go into real estate?
To build a coop!
Why did the duck go into real estate?
To build a quack home!
What do you call a home with no windows?
Jokes about home ownership
Home ownership is a huge financial responsibility – but that doesn’t mean it can’t be funny, too! Here are a few housing-related jokes to make you smile.
Jokes about repairs
Can I help you?
Jokes about home décor
-Home is where you can be yourself without having to worry about what other people think.
-Home is not a place, it’s a feeling.
-A house is just a building, but a home is made with love.
-I went to a fancy home décor store and they told me I couldn’t afford their items. I told them, “No, you don’t understand. I *do* have the money, I just don’t want to spend it on that.”
-My wife asked me to put up some shelves in our home office. I asked her where she wanted them and she said, “Somewhere I can reach them.”
-I asked my wife if she wanted me to paint our living room and she said, “Yes, please!” So I did… one wall.
Jokes about entertaining
Why don’t ghosts like to live in houses?
Because they’re scared of the Mortgage!
Why did the chicken go into real estate?
To get some yardage!
What does a house wear in the winter?
A coat of paint!
Why are ghosts such bad liars?
Because they are easy to see through!
Jokes about moving
If you’re in the mood for a laugh, check out these housing jokes. From PMS to bad landlords, we’ve all been there.
Jokes about packing
Packing is often considered to be one of the most stressful parts of moving. But it doesn’t have to be! With a little planning and a sense of humor, you can make packing a breeze. Here are some funny jokes about packing to help you get through the process:
Q: What’s the best way to pack for a move?
A: In a panic!
Q: What’s the best way to avoid losing things when you move?
A: Don’t pack them in the first place!
Q: How do you make sure your furniture fits in your new home?
A: You take it apart and pack it in smaller pieces!
Q: What’s the best way to pack dishes for a move?
A: use plenty of bubble wrap!
Jokes about moving trucks
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side of the street.
Why did the duck cross the road?
To get to the other side of the pond.
Why did the frog cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side.
Why did the mosquito cross the road?
To get to your blood!
Jokes about unpacking
Q: What’s the best way to unpack after a move?
A: Slowly and carefully!
Q. Why did the family move to the country?
A. To get away from the noise, traffic and people!
Q: Why did the couple moving across country stop in Omaha?
A. They couldn’t find anywhere to park their RV!