Jokes about Valentine’s Day that are so bad they’re good. If you’re looking for a laugh, then look no further than these funny Valentine’s Day jokes.
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Table of Contents
Jokes about Love
Jokes about being in love
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
Why are ghosts such bad liars?
Because they are easy to see through.
How do you throw a space party?
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Jokes about being single
Are you single and looking for love? Don’t worry, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. In fact, according to a recent study, being single may actually be better for your health than being in a relationship. So if you’re feeling down about being single on Valentine’s Day, just remember that you’re not alone and that it’s not the end of the world. And to make you feel even better, here are some funny and horrible jokes about being single on Valentine’s Day.
Why did the single girl eat candy on Valentine’s Day? Because she wanted something sweet to cuddle with.
What do single people call Valentine’s Day? National Single Awareness Day
What did the single lady say when she found out her best friend was getting married? “Congratulations! I hope your marriage is happy and lasts forever!”
Why are relationships so complicated? Because there are so many different people involved.
Why did the single guy buy a puzzle for Valentine’s Day? Because he was hoping to find a piece that would fit.
Jokes about Valentine’s Day
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! What did the chocolate say to the other chocolate on Valentine’s Day? I’m Fondue of you! If you don’t laugh at these bad Valentine’s Day jokes, you’re probably not in a relationship yet.
Jokes about buying gifts
Valentine’s Day is a special day to express your love to your significant other. However, it can also be a day of anxiety and stress, especially when it comes to buying the perfect gift. Whether you’re looking for a gift for your partner, spouse, or friend, there are plenty of options that will make them laugh.
Unfortunately, some people take things too seriously and end up spending way too much money on gifts that their loved ones may not even want. If you’re looking to save some money this Valentine’s Day, why not give the gift of laughter with one of these funny and horrible Valentine’s Day jokes?
-Why did the boy break up with his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? Because she was becoming too demanding!
-What do ghosts exchange on Valentine’s Day? Voodoo dolls!
-Why did the chicken cross the road on Valentine’s Day? To get to the other side of the chocolate box!
Jokes about receiving gifts
Why did the boy teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because he was already stuffed.
What does a rabbit give his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A Velveteen rabbit!
What do you call two birds in love?
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To get to the other side! (Happy Valentine’s Day!)
Jokes about making plans
If you want to make someone laugh on Valentine’s Day, there’s nothing better than a good joke. But be warned: some of these jokes are so terrible they’re actually funny.
What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
Why did the chicken cross the road on Valentine’s Day? To get to the other side of the heart!
What do you call a guy who knows how to make love? A charmer!
Why is a hockey game like making love? Because when you’re not scoring, you’re sitting on the bench!
Jokes about Relationships
Jokes about dating
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side of the dating pool.
Why did the man cross the road?
To get to his date’s house.
What’s the best way to describe a perfect date?
No one talked.
Jokes about marriage
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side … of the divorce lawyer’s bill.
How long does a bride have to be engaged?
Until she gets tired of planning the wedding.
I asked my wife if she’d ever consider a threesome. She said she wouldn’t do it with another man but she might do it with another woman. I said, “Yeah, right – like two women would want to get into bed with you!”
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
Jokes about breakups
Breakups are never easy, but sometimes they can be funny… or at least provide comic relief in the midst of all the pain. If you’re going through a break-up, or if you’re just feeling a little bit anti-Valentine’s Day, check out these funny jokes about relationships gone wrong.
-Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… of the relationship.
-How many exes does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just prefer to sit in the dark and complain about how much better things were when someone else was doing it for them.
-Why did the man cross the road? To get to his ex’s house and trash it.
-How did the relationship end? With a lot of broken glass and a restraining order.