If you’re looking for a good laugh, look no further than these funny grandparent jokes. You’re sure to find something that will make you smile.
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Jokes for Grandparents
These jokes are perfect for grandparents who want to make their grandchildren laugh. From classic one-liners to silly knock-knocks, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to any grandparent’s face.
Jokes about getting old
There’s nothing like a good joke to lighten the mood, especially when that joke is about getting old. If you’re looking for a funny way to connects with your grandparents, look no further. These jokes about getting old are sure to get a smile out of even the grimmest grandparent.
How do you know you’re getting old?
-When you stoop to pick up something and you miss.
-When your back goes out more than you do.
-When your friends start declining your invitations to go out because they have “ prior engagements” with their cholesterol pills and heating pads.
-When every commercial on television is for some kind of medication or device to help you hear, see, breathe, sleep, eat or go to the bathroom.
-When people call at 9 p.m. and ask if this is a good time to talk.
-When you no longer buy green bananas.
-When IV means “I’ve vetch” instead of “Intravenous”
-Heck, when Spell Checker knows more words than you do!
Jokes about retirement
Q. How do you keep a senior citizen occupied?
A. Give ’em a piece of paper with the crossword puzzle from the day before yesterday.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A: A stick!
Q. How many retirees todoes it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Only one, but it takes him all afternoon.
Jokes about grandchildren
Q: How do you know when your grandchildren are well-behaved?
A: When they’re asleep!
Q: What’s the best way to describe a perfect grandchild?
A: The one that lives far away!
Q. How do you know when grandchildren are growing up too fast?
A. When they start asking for money instead of candy!
Q. Why did the grandmother cross the road?
A. To get to the other grandchild!
Puns for Grandparents
If you’re looking for some funny grandparents jokes, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve compiled a list of some of the best puns for grandparents that will make them smile. Whether you’re looking for a laugh or you’re just trying to show your grandparent how much you care, these jokes are sure to do the trick.
Puns about getting old
There’s no denying that getting old can be tough. But even though your bones may ache and your memory might not be what it used to be, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a good laugh. These funny jokes about getting old will have you and your grandparents chuckling in no time.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other aide.
Why did the duck cross the road?
To get to the other pond.
Why did the mosquito cross the road?
To get to the other bite.
Why did the banana crossing the road?
Because he was sick of being mashed!
Why did wrinkles appear on Grandma’s face? Because grandpa missed her so much!
Puns about retirement
There are plenty of jokes about retirement, but these puns are especially for grandparents. If you’re looking for something to make them smile, look no further.
Why did the gym close down?
All the treadmills were taken by retired people!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other retirement home!
Why don’t senior citizens use computers?
Because they’re scared of the world wide wait!
What do you call a retired outlaw?
Sherriff: “You’re under arrest, come with me!” Retiree: “I will when I’m ready!”
Puns about grandchildren
There’s nothing funnier than a good pun, and grandparents love to tell them! Here are some of our favorite jokes about grandparents and their grandchildren.
Why did the grandpa cross the road?
To get to the other granddaughter!
Why did the grandma cross the road?
To get to the other grandson!
Why did the grandfather clock cross the road?
To get to the other time zone!
What do you call a grandpa who tells lots of jokes?
What do you call a grandpa who loves to dance? A regular dancing machine!
One-Liners for Grandparents
As a grandparent, you want to make your grandkids smile. That’s why we’ve collected some of the best, funniest jokes for grandparents. From one-liners to classic knock-knock jokes, we’ve got all the laughs you need to make your grandchildren giggle.
One-liners about getting old
There’s no need to worry about getting old—it’s totally natural! Just ask your grandparents—they’ll be the first to tell you. Here are some lighthearted one-liners that they’re sure to enjoy.
1. I’m not old, I’m vintage!
2. I may be old, but I’m not dead yet!
3. Age is just a number—it doesn’t have to define you.
4. Just because I’m old doesn’t mean I can’t still have fun!
5. I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up!
One-liners about retirement
Retirement: World’s longest coffee break.
I’m retired – goodbye tension, hello pension!
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
See also: Senior citizen jokes
One-liners about grandchildren
“Having grandchildren is like getting a second childhood — without having to go through adolescence.”
“The secret to enjoying your grandchildren is not to try to raise them.”
“Time and life may change, but grandparents always stay the same.”
“Grandchildren are God’s gift for letting your children live far away.”
“Everyone needs grandkids — they keep you young at heart.”
“A grandchild is God’s way of giving us a second chance at childhood.”