Funny Graduation Jokes to Make Your Speech Memorable

If you’re looking for some funny graduation jokes to add to your speech, look no further. These jokes will have your audience laughing in no time.

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Jokes about School

Education is important, but sometimes it’s hard to keep a straight face while talking about it. That’s why we’ve collected some of the funniest graduation jokes to lighten the mood and make your speech more memorable.

Jokes about homework

Q: How much homework did you have last night?
A: I didn’t have any, I did it all in class!

Q: My teacher says I have to do my homework. What should I do?
A: Panicking never helps. First, check to see if the assignment is actually due today. If it’s not, take a deep breath and relax—you’ve still got time. If it is due today, try your best to complete it. If you can’t finish it, talk to your teacher and see if there’s anything you can do to turn it in tomorrow.

Jokes about tests

“I’ve never been so certain about something in my entire life!”
“What’s that?”
“I’m certain I passed my final exam.”

Jokes about teachers

Q. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. A teacher says, “I think you’ve got the wrong end of the stick,” while a train says, “Stick with me and you’ll go far.”

Q. How many teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just one, but she really needs the whole class to help her!

Q. What do you call a teacher who is out of control?
A. A runaway train!

Jokes about College

You’ve been asked to give a speech at a graduation ceremony and you want to make it memorable. One way to do this is to add some humor to your speech. Here are some funny graduation jokes to make your speech memorable.

Jokes about exams

Exams are a very stressful time for students, so why not lighten the mood with some funny exam jokes? Here are a few of our favorites:

-What’s the best way to study for an exam? False confidence!

-How do you party after an exam? Duh, by taking a long nap!

-Why did the student take a ladder into the exam room? So he could reach the high standards!

-How do you motivate yourself to study for an exam? You tell yourself, “just think about how good it will feel to be done with this!”

Jokes about tuition

I was so poor growing up … if there was a Tupperware party, my mom would throw us one.

What do you call a student who skips class all the time? Tuition my dear Watson.

What do you call a student who is always in the library? A bookworm!

Jokes about student loans

What do you call a student with a hundred thousand dollars in debt? A graduate!

Why did the graduate cross the road? To get to the other side of his student loan payments!

How do you know a person is a recent graduate? They still believe they will find a job related to their degree.

Did you hear about the new graduate who was so desperate to find a job? He finally got one as an Uber driver!

Jokes about Life After College

Jokes about job hunting

The best way to find a job is to print out your resume on a flimsy piece of paper and let the wind take it where it may.

What’s the best way to describe job hunting? It’s like getting a blood transfusion from an Amoeba.

The hardest part about finding a job is convincing the employer that you won’t find a better one.

Jokes about working

“The only thing I miss about my old job is the paycheck.” – Unknown

“I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.” – Unknown

“I’ve been on a calendar, but I’ve never been on time.” -Unknown

Jokes about adulting

“I’m not saying that adulting is hard, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.”

“I’m so excited to not know what I’m doing with my life!”

“The first step to adulthood is getting out of bed before noon on a Saturday.”

“I’m not saying that I don’t miss college, but I do miss not having to pay bills.”

“I’m so excited to start my new life… as a broke college graduate.”

“The hardest part about adulting is pretending like you know what you’re doing.”

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