We all know that drugs can be serious business. But that doesn’t mean they can’t also be funny! Check out our collection of the funniest drug jokes around.
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Table of Contents
Jokes about Prescription Drugs
If you’ve ever wondered what some people are really prescribed, these Funny Drug Jokes are for you. From the doctors who write the prescriptions to the pharmacies that fill them, everyone will get a chuckle out of these.
Jokes about Viagra
Q: Why don’t they make Viagra for women?
A: Because it wouldn’t work!
Q: Why don’t they make Viagra for old people?
A: It would be too hard to get it up!
Q: How does Viagra affect a man’s life?
A: It makes it longer!
Jokes about Cialis
Why doesn’t Cialis help with erectile dysfunction? Because it’s not a problem that has its roots in the physical world.
Why was Cialis originally developed? For heart problems! But during clinical trials, it was discovered that it also helped with erection problems.
How long does Cialis last? About as long as Viagra, but with fewer side effects.
What’s the difference between Cialis and Viagra? Viagra is for when you want to have sex. Cialis is for when you want to have sex and your partner wants to talk about their day.
How many men does it take to Pop a Cialis? Only one, but it might take him a while.
Jokes about Levitra
Q: How does Viagra work?
A: It keeps the blood from going back into your wallet.
Q: Why doesn’t Viagra work for some men?
A: It only works if you have a pulse.
Q: Why do men take Viagra?
A: So they can drink more and get laid more often.
Q: How can you tell if a man has taken Viagra?
A: He has that “I’ll-be-ready-in-a-minute” look.
Jokes about Over the Counter Drugs
Humor is a great way to take the edge off of a long day. If you’re feeling stressed out, why not take a break and laugh at some of these funny drug jokes? From ibuprofen to NyQuil, we’ve got all of your favorite over the counter drugs covered.
Jokes about Tylenol
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the Tylenol!
Jokes about Advil
I asked my doctor if I could take Advil for my cold. He said, “No, you can’t.” I said, “But it says right on the label that it relieves pain and fever.” He said, “That’s true, but it also says ‘Do not operate heavy machinery’ and ‘May cause drowsiness.’ So, no, you can’t take Advil for your cold.”
Jokes about Aspirin
Why did the aspirin cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why did the duck cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why did the mosquito cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why did the banana cross the road?
Because it was peeled!
Jokes about Illegal Drugs
Jokes about Marijuana
Why did the potato go to rehab?
Because he was addicted to French Fries!
Why did the chicken go to rehab?
Because he was addicted to crack!
Why did the banana go to rehab?
Because he was addicted to cartoons!
Jokes about Cocaine
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side? No, to get away from the cocaine!
Why did the duck cross the road? To get to the other side? No, to get away from the cocaine!
Why did the mosquito cross the road? To get to the other side? No, to get away from the cocaine!
Why did the banana cross the road? Because he was sick of being mashed!
Why did The Cat In The Hat cross the road? I don’t know, why did he do it?
Jokes about Heroin
Q: Why did the heroin cross the road?
A: Because his dealer was on the other side!
Q: How many junkies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but it takes him a really long time to do it.
Q: What do you call a heroin addict who’s just quit cold turkey?
A: A former heroin addict!
