If you are looking for some funny drinking jokes to make your party livelier, then you have come to the right place. Check out our collection of hilarious drinking jokes that will have everyone in stitches.
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Whether you are hosting a party or just getting together with friends, adding some humor to the occasion with drinking jokes can help everyone relax and have a good time. If you are looking for some inspiration, here are some funny drinking jokes to get you started.
Why did the guy cross the road?
To get to the other bar!
What’s the difference between a man and a bar stool?
A bar stool doesn’t scream when you put a drunk woman on it!
How do you know a man is really angry?
He orders a double scotch and soda!
The Best Drinking Jokes
A man walks into a bar…
A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says “You’re out of luck. We’ve been closed for fifteen minutes.”
I drink to make other people more interesting
I drink to make other people more interesting. – Ernest Hemingway
I’m not as think as you drunk I am. – Unknown
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? – Stephen Wright
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her. – W.C. Fields
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.- Ernest Hemingway
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.- Benjamin Franklin
Drink ’til she’s cute, but stop before the argument starts.- Steve Ehrhart
Considering the fact that Cognac is the only wine that comes with its own snifter, it may well be the good Lord’s idea of a joke. – Alex Levin
Diana Ross brought out my inner thug.- Roy Haynes
Gin was mother’s milk to them.- Dorothy L. Sayers
He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.- Joseph Heller
I like gin best when it’s next to vermouth on the piano.- Noel Coward
I’m on a whiskey diet…
I’m on a whiskey diet…I’ve lost three days already!
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
I gave up alcohol for my health…
I gave up alcohol for my health… my liver couldn’t handle the stress of trying to filter all the crap out of my system.
We hope you have enjoyed our collection of funny drinking jokes. If you have any favorites that we missed, be sure to let us know in the comments below. And if you’re looking for more party humor, check out our other lists of hilarious party games and activities. From icebreakers to drinking games, we’ve got everything you need to make your next party a hit.