Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of funny and dirty doctor jokes. You’ll be sure to find a few that will make you chuckle.
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Table of Contents
Jokes about going to the doctor
What’s a doctor’s favorite type of cheese?
Why did the doctor go to school?
For his M.D.!
Why did the patient go to the doctor?
Because he was sick!
Jokes about doctors and patients
Here are some hilarious jokes about doctors and patients that will have you laughing out loud.
A doctor tells a patient, “I have some bad news for you. You have cancer and it is inoperable.”
The patient asks, “What do I do?”
The doctor replies, “Pray.”
A patient goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, I have a problem. I keep seeing ghosts.”
The doctor asks, “How long have you been seeing ghosts?”
The patient reply, “Since I was born.”
“That’s not a problem,” the doctor says. “You just need to learn to ignore them.”
Two doctors are talking. One says to the other, “I had a patient who died while I was performing surgery on him.” The other doctor asks, “What did you do?” The first doctor replied, “I didn’t do anything. He just died.”
Jokes about medical procedures
1.How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: None, they just hold it up there and wait for the world to revolve around them.
2.Why did the patient go to the optometrist?
Answer: Because he was seeing double.
3.Why did the man go to the ENT doctor?
Answer: Because he was having trouble hearing things out of one ear.
Funny Doctor Jokes
A doctor is someone who not only saves lives but also makes us laugh when we are feeling down. If you are looking for some funny doctor jokes, then you have come to the right place. In this article, we have compiled a list of the best doctor jokes that will have you rolling on the floor with laughter.
Jokes about funny things that happen in the doctor’s office
What did the doctor say to the patient with a cold?
I’m sorry, we don’t treat patients with colds.
Jokes about funny things that happen to doctors
Why did the doctor go to the party? Because he was invited!
What’s a doctor’s favorite type of cheese? Brie!
Why did the doctor get mad at the nurse? Because she gave him a dirty look!
Why did the doctor go to jail? Because he wasn’t able to rebuild his house after it burned down!
What do you call a doctor who can’t find anything wrong with you? A quack!
Jokes about funny things that happen to patients
Patient: Doctor, I think I’m losing my hearing.
Doctor: What makes you think that?
Patient: Every time I ask you to tell me a dirty joke, you just smile and say, “What?”
Dirty Doctor Jokes
If you’re looking for some dirty doctor jokes, then you’ve come to the right place. We’ve gathered some of the best and funniest dirty doctor jokes around. So sit back, relax, and enjoy.
Jokes about dirty things that happen in the doctor’s office
We all know that going to the doctor can be a bit of a downer. But sometimes, in the midst of all the poking and prodding, you just can’t help but laugh.
Here are some of the funniest (and dirtiest) doctor jokes around:
Q: What’s a doctor’s favorite type of cheese?
Q: What do you call a surgeon who only operates on men?
A: A urologist!
Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one…but he’ll have to refer you to an ENT specialist!
Q: What’s a doctor’s favorite type of food?
A: A rare steak!
Q: Why did the patient go to the psychiatrist?
A: Because he was having hallucinations!
Jokes about dirty things that happen to doctors
Do you know why so many doctors are dirty? Because they’re always feeling up patients!
Why did the doctor feel sick after his shift? Because he was on call all night!
Why did the doctor cross the road? To get to the other side!
Why was the doctor fired from his job? Because he was always taking sick days!
Why did the doctor go to the beach? To get some sand between his toes!
Why did the doctor get a ticket? Because he was speeding to save a life!
Jokes about dirty things that happen to patients
Patients can be pretty gross. From accidentally passing gas to unintentionally pooping themselves, there are some pretty dirty things that can happen to patients. And of course, there are always the jokes about these dirty things. Here are some of the funniest and dirtiest doctor jokes you need to hear.
“Why did the patient keep touching his crotch?”
“I don’t know, but I think he has a case of the itches.”
“What’s the difference between a patient with diarrhea and a patient with constipation?”
“With diarrhea, they’re in and out all day long.”
“Why did the patient go to the bathroom so much?”
“Because he had the runs!”