Funny Dark Harry Potter Jokes You’ve Never Heard Before

Looking for some laughs? Check out our collection of funny dark Harry Potter jokes you’ve never heard before. From Slytherin to Hufflepuff, we’ve got something for everyone.

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Jokes about Dark Lord Voldemort

There are plenty of Harry Potter jokes out there, but what about ones that are a little bit dark? If you’re looking for something a little different, check out these Funny Dark Harry Potter Jokes You’ve Never Heard Before!

-Why did Voldemort cross the road?
To get to the other side!

-What do you call a vampire with no teeth?
A gummy bear!

-What do you call a wizard who’s been kicked out of Hogwarts?
A squib!

Jokes about Death Eaters

1. “I’m not saying that the Death Eaters are bad people, but they’re not very good at Hide and Seek.”
2. “Why did the Death Eater cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!”
3. “What do you call a group of Death Eaters? A disdain!”
4. “What’s a Death Eater’s favorite type of music? Necrophobia!”
5. “Why did the Dark Lord create the Death Eaters?Because he couldn’t find any willing followers!”

Jokes about Dementors

Dementors are some of the darkest and most feared creatures in the Harry Potter universe. They feed off of human happiness and have the power to suck all the life out of a person, leaving them in a state of despair.

Thankfully, there are ways to ward off these nasty creatures, and one of them is laughter. So if you’re ever feeling down and out, just remember these funny dark Harry Potter jokes about Dementors and you’ll be sure to crack a smile.

1. Why did the Dementor cross the road?
To get to the other side!

2. How do you keep a Dementor away from your house?
By putting up a “Beware of Dementor” sign!

3. What’s a Dementor’s favorite type of music?
Soul-sucking rock!

4. What’s a Dementor’s favorite food?
Anything that used to be happy!

5. What’s the best way to cheer up a Dementor?
With a few chuckles!

Jokes about the Dark Arts

1. What’s the difference between the Dark Arts and Regular Arts?
With the Dark Arts, instead of being creative, you’re just trying to kill people.

2. How many Dark Wizards does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, but he has to really mean it.

3. How do you become a Death Eater?
First, you have to be really good at magic. Then, you have to be really evil. And finally, you have to be really stupid.

4. What’s the difference between a Dark Wizard and a Muggle?
A Muggle might accidentally kill someone with their magic; a Dark Wizard does it on purpose.

Jokes about Lord Voldemort’s Horcruxes

-Why did Lord Voldemort put a Horcrux in a cave?

Because he wanted to keep it hidden!

-What did Lord Voldemort say when he found out that his Horcruxes were all destroyed?

“I’m not gonna take this lying down!”

-What did Lord Voldemort say when he found out that the seventh Horcrux was Harry Potter?

“I’m going to have to kill him twice!”

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