Check out our collection of the funniest Coast Guard jokes! If you’re looking for a good laugh, you’ve come to the right place.
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Jokes about the Coast Guard
Jokes about the Coast Guard’s job
Why does the Coast Guard always drink beer?
Because it’s their job!
Why did the Coast Guard rescue the drowning man?
Because it’s their job!
Jokes about the Coast Guard’s uniform
Why does the Coast Guard wear blue?
Because it’s expecting bad weather!
Why did the Coast Guard wear red, white, and blue stripes on their uniform?
So they could be more visible when they’re standing on top of a lighthouse!
Jokes about the Coast Guard’s training
Why does the Coast Guard have such long training periods?
Because the longer they train, the less time they have to actually do their jobs!
Jokes about Coast Guard life
If you want to make a Coast Guard laugh, you’ve got to be pretty funny. These men and women have one of the most important and challenging jobs in the country. They put their lives on the line every day to save others, so they deserve a good laugh. Here are some of the funniest jokes about Coast Guard life.
Jokes about living on a ship
Living on a ship can be tough, especially when you’re stuck in close quarters with the same people for months on end. That’s why it’s important to have a sense of humor about it. Here are some of the funniest jokes about living on a ship.
Q: What’s the best way tomake coffee on a ship?
A: Use hot water and a lot of kicking!
Q: How do you make sure your ship doesn’t sink?
A: Keep the Captain happy!
Q: How do you know if there’s a Coast Guard ship in your harbor?
A: You can see their wake!
Jokes about Coast Guard food
Q: What do you call a Coast Guard meal?
A: A rescue operation.
Q: What do you call a group of Coast Guard cadets in a rowboat?
A: A famine.
Q: How many Coast Guard personnel does it take to eat an MRE?
A: Ten – one to eat it and nine to store it for future use.
Jokes about Coast Guard drill
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side of the ship.
Q: How does a Coast Guardsman order a drink in a bar?
A: “One beer, please.”
Q: How does a Coast Guardsman order two drinks in a bar?
A:”One beer, hold the ice.”
