It’s Chuck Norris’ birthday! In celebration, we’ve rounded up some of the funniest Chuck Norris jokes.
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Introduction
Chuck Norris jokes are always popular, but they are especially popular around his birthday. If you are looking for some funny Chuck Norris birthday jokes, then you have come to the right place. Here are some of the best jokes about this martial arts expert and actor.
Early Life
Chuck Norris was born in Ryan, Oklahoma, on March 10, 1940, to Wilma and Ray Norris, who were both itinerant workers. His mother worked as a beautician and his father as an oil field worker. Norris has stated that his Cherokee heritage plays a role in many of his films. HeGrowing up, Norris enjoyed a variety of sports such as baseball and boxing, and took up Taekwondo at the age of six. He was then awarded his black belt at 18. Norris eventually became a martial arts instructor
Career
Chuck Norris didn’t have a job, he had a career.
Personal Life
In his personal life, Norris has been married to Dianne Holechek since May 28, 1958; the couple has two children, daughters Tracy (born 1961) and Dina (born 1963), and four grandchildren. Norris met Holechek in a nightclub where she was a waitress; they married in an impromptu Las Vegas ceremony after dating for just two weeks, and they will celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary in 2018. He is a devout Christian and has written several books on Christianity.
Jokes
If you are looking for some funny Chuck Norris jokes for a birthday, then you have come to the right place. Here are some of the best jokes that you can use to make someone’s special day even more special.
One-liners
Happy birthday, Chuck Norris! The world’s most famous martial artist and action movie star turns 77 today. Known for his legendary tough guy persona, Norris has starred in some of the most popular action movies of all time, such as ‘ Walker, Texas Ranger’ and ‘ The Expendables 2.’
But Norris is also known for his sense of humor, often poking fun at his own tough guy image. In honor of his birthday, here are some of the funniest Chuck Norris jokes out there:
-Chuck Norris doesn’t need a birthday cake because everyone already knows he’s the sweetest thing around.
-Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is “his” way.
-Chuck Norris loves keeping fit so much that when he does a pushup, he doesn’t go up – the world does.
-Chuck Norris doesn’t read books because he prefers to let the authors tell him what they’re about.
-Even if you had a time machine, you could never go back in time to see Chuck Norris being born… because baby Chuck Norris kicked his way out of his mother’s womb and roundhouse kicked the doctor in the face.
Short jokes
1. Chuck Norris doesn’t celebrate his birthday, because everyone else does.
2. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a soft drink. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
3. Chuck Norris is the only human being who can actually email a round house kick.
4. According to Einstein’s theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
5. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds ’til.” After you ask, “Two seconds ’til what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face
Long jokes
What’s the difference between a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick and a missile?
A missile knows when to stop.
How many pushups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.
What’s the difference between a Chuck Norris punch and a357 magnum?
It doesn’t matter.
Conclusion
In conclusion, Chuck Norris is amazing and can do anything. If you want to make someone’s birthday special, tell them a Chuck Norris joke. They will laugh so hard they might even get a birthday punch from the big man himself!
