Funny Chicago Bears Jokes to Make You Laugh

Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of Funny Chicago Bears Jokes to Make You Laugh. From jokes about the team to jokes about their fans, we’ve got plenty of material to keep you entertained.

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Short jokes

How do you keep a Chicago Bears fan from being sad?

You move the goal posts closer to their team.

Why are Chicago Bears fans like maggots?

Because they live in gar-BAGE cans!

long jokes

Why couldn’t the Seahawks win a Super Bowl?

Because the Bears were playing!

Why don’t bears like to go shopping?

Because they’re always being told they’re not allowed to play in the store!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from the Bears fans!


Why did the chicken go to the Seahawks game?

Short puns

Why couldn’t the bear swim?
Because he was afraid of getting wet!

Why did the bear cross the road?
To get to the other side!

Why did the bear order a diet soda?
Because he was trying to be a little lighter on his feet!

What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!

long puns

Why did the chicken go to the Seahawks game?

To get free range!

Why are turtles so bad at basketball?

Because they’re constantly pulled out of their shell.

What’s a bear’s favorite drink?

Iced tea!


Why couldn’t the Chicago Bears go to the movies? Because they were booking! Why don’t bears like fast food? Because it’s undefined! Why did the Chicago Bears miss the grapefruit? Because they couldn’t find it! How do you catch a Chicago Bears fan?

Short riddles

Q: Long divided by short?

A: A football field!

long riddles

Q: Why don’t bears eat ducks?
A: Because they don’t want to catch colds!

Q: How do you catch a cheetah?
A: You tie him to a post and wait for a rabbit to run by!

Q: How does a bear keep cool in the summer?
A: By waving his paws in the air and saying, “Woof, woof,woof!”

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