The CDC has released a list of Funny Jokes they want you to know in order to help prevent the spread of disease.
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The CDC’s List of Jokes
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has released a list of jokes they say are funny and want you to know. The list includes such classics as “Why did the chicken cross the road?” and “What do you call a group of crows?”
The CDC’s top 10 funniest jokes
1.Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was…two tired!
2.Why did the gym close down? Because it just didn’t work out!
3.You know what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
4.Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because they are easy to see through.
5.Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
6.Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
7.How does a rabbi make coffee? Hebrews it!
8.How do you throw a space party? You planet!
9.Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one…
10.Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint!
The CDC’s top 5 funniest jokes
5. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
4. Why did the duck cross the road?
To get to the other side!
3. Why did the mosquito cross the road?
To get to the other side!
2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles!
1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
The CDC’s List of Jokes
The CDC has released a list of jokes that they say are funny and will help people during the pandemic. The list includes jokes about social distancing, hand washing, and face masks.
The CDC’s top 10 funniest jokes
1. Hand sanitizer isn’t a substitute for soap and water, but it’s What the heck, I’ll just do both!
2. I’m not saying that I don’t trust the CDC, but this whole social distancing thing just doesn’t seem like their area of expertise.
3. I asked my doctor if she thought the new coronavirus was serious and she said, “Well, it is causing a lot of laughter on social media.”
4. My wife says that if I get the coronavirus, I’m not allowed to recover in our bed. Apparently, that’s where she sleeps.
5. You know what they say… an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of toilet paper!
6. I was going to stock up on hand sanitizer, but then I remembered that alcohol is way more effective at killing viruses.
7. I keep hearing about this “second wave” of the virus… does that mean we get two chances to make all the same mistakes?
8. The upside to the pandemic is that now my dog finally has someone to play fetch with.
9. The CDC has released a list of symptoms to look out for… and if you have all of them, you might be a baby boomer.
10. Don’t worry, the virus will probably mutate into something less deadly before it reaches us… like politics!
The CDC’s top 5 funniest jokes
5) Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
4) I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
3) How does a rabbi make coffee? Hebrews it!
2) How many ghosts can fit in a car? 3 if it’s a hauntback!
1)Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything
