Funny Catholic Jokes to Make You Smile

Looking for some funny Catholic jokes? We’ve got you covered! Check out our list of the best jokes about Catholics, from priests to nuns.

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We all need a good laugh every now and then, and nothing lightens the mood quite like a good joke. But not just any joke will do — it has to be a clean joke, and preferably one that will make us smile without making us cringe.

If you’re looking for some clean Catholic jokes to add a bit of levity to your day, you’ve come to the right place. From self-deprecating humor to poking fun at some of the more absurd aspects of our faith, these funny Catholic jokes are sure to get a chuckle out of even the grimmest of souls. So sit back, relax, and enjoy!

What is a Catholic Joke?

A Catholic joke is a joke that pokes fun at the Catholic Church, its priests and nuns, or Catholic beliefs and practices. These jokes are usually told by Protestants, atheists, or agnostics, but can also be told by Catholics themselves. Some of these jokes might make you smile, while others might make you groan. But either way, they’re all in good fun!

Here are some examples of Catholic jokes:

-Why don’t Catholics eat fish on Friday?
Because Jesus died on a Friday and they want to honor his memory.

-How many Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and pray for guidance.

-What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile?
The pedophile doesn’t wear a collar.

The Best Catholic Jokes

Here are some of the best Catholic jokes that will make you smile.

-Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… of purgatory.
-What do you call a Priest with a ton of candy? A sweet father.
-How many Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but he has to go to confession first.
-What’s a Catholic’s favorite fruit? A fig newton.
-Why did God create man before woman? Because he wanted a good laugh.


We hope you’ve enjoyed our collection of funny Catholic jokes. While some might not be appropriate for all audiences, we think they’re all sure to make you smile. So next time you need a good laugh, remember these jokes and share them with your friends.

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