Need a good laugh? Check out our collection of funny break up jokes. From the clever to the downright silly, these jokes will help you get through a tough break up.
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Jokes about being single
Don’t worry, being single doesn’t mean you’re alone. You have plenty of company. In fact, according to the latest Census report, there are more than 100 million single people in the United States. And that number is only going to grow.
So if you’re feeling a little down about being single, just remember that you’re not alone. And to help you feel better, here are some funny jokes about being single.
Why is being single like a cold drink?
Because it makes you couglier than you actually are.
Why is being single like a traffic jam?
Because it gives you time to think about what you could have done differently.
Why is being single like winning the lottery?
Because it means you can have as much sex as you want without having to worry about getting pregnant.
Why is being single like a nightmare?
Because it means you have to see your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend everywhere you go.
Jokes about dating
Dating is hard enough, but dating someone who is going through a break up can be even harder. If you’re the one who’s been dumped, you might find yourself feeling jealous, hurt, and even a little bit angry. But if you can’t resist joking about your ex, here are some funny break up jokes to make you smile.
1.Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side of the break up.
2.Why did the guy cross the road?
To get to his ex’s house and change all of her furniture back to the way it was before.
3.Why did the girl cross the road?
To get away from her ex!
Jokes about marriage
-Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side of the divorce.
-How many divorced people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two…one to do it and one to watch and say, “I could have done that!”
-What’s the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised?
When you get a divorce, you dump your wife. When you get circumcised, your wife dumps you!
-What’s the difference between marriage and death?
Death is final; marriage is forever.
Jokes about breakups
Why did the chicken break up with the fox?
Because he was a cheat!
Why did the duck break up with the swan?
Because he was always quacking about how much better he was than her!
Why did the squirrel break up with the chipmunk?
Because she was always hoarder all the nuts!