The Funniest Boat Jokes You’ve Ever Heard

We’ve gathered the funniest boat jokes we could find and put them all in one place for your enjoyment. So whether you’re looking for a good laugh or just want to pass the time, check out our collection of the funniest boat jokes you’ve ever heard!

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Jokes about boats

Q: What’s the best way to catch a fish?
A: In a boat!

Q: What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
A: R (arrr!)

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other TIDE!

Jokes about sailors

Sailors have a long and storied tradition of telling jokes. Whether it’s to pass the time on a long voyage or to simply relieve the boredom of daily life at sea, sailors have always been known for their sense of humor.

There are a lot of great jokes about sailors out there, but we’ve narrowed it down to our favorites. These are the funniest boat jokes you’ve ever heard:

Why did the sailor cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide!

Why did the sailor put postage stamps on his forearms?
Because he wanted mail call!

Why did the sailor stand on his head?
To get rid of sea sickness!

How does a sailor stay warm in winter?
By living in a windjammer!

Jokes about pirates

What do you call a pirate with one eye? A ye-scurvy-dog!

Why did the pirate cross the road? To get to the First Blood bar!

Why did the pirates go on vacation? Because they needed a break from sailing the sea!

Why didn’t the pirate want to take a bath? Because he was afraid of being scurvy!

Jokes about the sea

Why don’t oysters give to charity?

Because they are shellfish!

Why did the sailor put his money in the freezer?

He wanted cold hard cash!

What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?

Arrrrrrgh!

Jokes about fishing

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.

What do you call a fish with no eyes and no teeth?
A gill.

What does a fish say when it hits a concrete wall?
Dam!

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Himalay