Funny Bidet Jokes to Make Your Day

Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of funny bidet jokes. From puns to one-liners, we’ve got plenty of material to make your day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

Why did the duck cross the road? To get to the other side!

Why did the mosquito cross the road? To get to the other side!

Why did the banana cross the road? Because he was sick of being mashed!

Why did the boy cross the road? To get to the other side!

What is a bidet?

A bidet is a plumbing fixture or type of small sink that is installed near a toilet in order to wash the genitalia and anus after using the toilet.
Bidets are very popular in many countries, especially in Europe and Asia. They are less common in the United States, but their popularity is increasing.

There are two types of bidets: standalone units that look like small toilets, and attachments that can be placed on top of or next to a regular toilet.
Bidets usually have a cup-like shape so you can pour water over yourself, but some have a shower-like feature for a more thorough cleaning.

Most bidets have adjustable water pressure and temperature controls so you can customize your cleansing experience. Some also have additional features like massage functions and heated seats.

The history of the bidet

The bidet has a long and somewhat unclear history. Most likely originating in France, the bidet was used as early as the 1600s. But, it was not until the late 1700s that the bidet began to resemble the bowl-shaped bathroom fixture we know today.

The first recorded use of the word “bidet” was in 1769, in a French novel. But, it wasn’t until the early 1800s that the bidet began to gain popularity in Europe. Many believe that Napoleon’s wife, Empress Josephine, introduced the bidet to France after her travels to Italy.

It wasn’t until the late 1800s that the bidet made its way to America. But, even then, it wasn’t widely used. In fact, it wasn’t until after World War II that the bidet really began to gain popularity in America.

Today, there are many different styles of bidets available on the market. And, while they are still not as popular in America as they are in Europe and Asia, their popularity is slowly but surely increasing.

How to use a bidet

Most people who visit Japan or other countries where bidets are commonly used find them strange and even comical at first. However, once you get used to using a bidet, you may find that it offers a more pleasant and hygienic alternative to toilet paper. Here is a brief guide on how to use a bidet:

-Position yourself over the bidet so that the stream of water will hit you in the right spot.
-Adjust the water temperature to your preference using the controls on the side of the unit.
-Press the button or lever that activates the stream of water.
-When you are finished, press the button or lever again to stop the water flow.
-Use toilet paper to pat yourself dry if desired.

The benefits of using a bidet

A bidet is a personal cleansing system that uses water instead of paper to clean after a toilet bowel movement. Many people find bidets more hygienic, efficient and economical than toilet paper.

There are many health benefits to using a bidet. Bidets can help to improve perineal hygiene, preventing or healing anal fissures, hemorrhoids and other disorders. They can also be beneficial for people with urinary tract infections, vulvovaginal candidiasis or other genital infections.

Bidets can also save trees and reduce your carbon footprint! The average person uses 57 sheets of toilet paper per day, which adds up to almost 20,000 sheets per year. If every American household switched to using a bidet just half of the time, we would save nearly 10 million trees each year!

Funny bidet jokes

Q: What’s the difference between a bidet and a vibrator?

A: A bidet can make your day.

Q: How do you know you’re using a bidet correctly?

A: If you’re still smiling when you finish.

Q: Why did the chicken use the bidet?

A: To wash his dirty bum!


We hope you enjoyed our collection of funny bidet jokes! Be sure to share them with your friends and family to brighten their day. If you’re looking for more laughs, check out our other joke collections, such as funny toilet jokes and bathroom humor.

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