Funny Beard Jokes to Make You Laugh

Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of funny beard jokes. From clean jokes to groan-worthy puns, we’ve got something for everyone.

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Introduction

Beards are all the rage these days, and there’s no better way to show off your facial hair than by making people laugh with some funny beard jokes. Whether you’ve got a beard yourself or you just think they’re hilarious, these jokes are sure to get a chuckle out of anyone.

So if you’re looking for a laugh, check out some of these funny beard jokes. And if you happen to be rocking a beard, don’t forget to give yourself a good pat on the back afterwards.

Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

Because he drank his coffee before it was cool!

Why did the Beard guy cross the road?

To get to the other side-burn!

Why did the barber win the race?
He had a close shave!

The Best Beard Jokes

Beards are no laughing matter. Unless you have a beard, in which case you should probably shave it off. But if you’re looking for a few good laughs about beards, you’ve come to the right place. Check out our list of the best beard jokes below.

A man with a beard walks into a bar

A man with a beard walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, we don’t allow beggars in here.” The man replies, “I’m not a beggar. I’m a born-again Christian.” The bartender says, “Oh, sorry. We don’t allow born-again Christians in here either.” The man replies, “Why not?” The bartender says, “Because you’re all a bunch of hypocrites. You’re always preaching about love and forgiveness, but you’re always judging us and telling us we’re going to hell.” The man thinks for a moment and says, “You’re right. I guess we are hypocrites. But you have to admit, we do have some pretty amazing beards.”

A man with a beard goes to a job interview

The man with the beard goes into a job interview, and the interviewer asks him, “Do you think you’d be comfortable working with our clients?”

“I don’t see why not,” the man replies. “I’ve been wearing a beard for years.”

“But our clients are very conservative,” the interviewer says. “They might not like your beard.”

“I’m sure they’ll get used to it,” the man says. “Besides, it’s not like I’ve got a big bushy beard or anything.”

“Well, I’m sorry,” the interviewer says. “But I’m afraid you’re not qualified for the job.”

The man is surprised and disappointed, but he thanks the interviewer for his time and leaves. As he’s walking out, he notices a poster on the wall that says, “Beards welcome!”

A man with a beard goes to a dating website

A man with a beard goes to a dating website and creates a profile. In the profile, he includes his interests, his likes and dislikes, and his hobbies. One of his hobbies is “making people laugh with my beard.”

The man goes on a few dates, but he doesn’t find anyone that he really clicks with. He starts to worry that his beard is a turn-off for potential partners.

One day, he comes across a profile of a woman who seems perfect for him. She has all the same interests, and she even says in her profile that she loves men with beards.

The man gets excited and messages her right away. They arrange to meet for a date.

On the date, the man is nervous, but the woman seems to be really into him. They have great conversation and they seem to be really hitting it off.

But then, right in the middle of their date, the woman suddenly stops and says “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this. I just can’t date a man with a beard.”

The man is heartbroken, but he knows there’s nothing he can do about it. He goes home alone, wondering if he will ever find love again.

The Funniest Beard Jokes

A man with a beard walks into a bar

A man with a beard walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, we’ve got a special going on tonight. If you can make our customers laugh, you’ll get a free drink.”

So the man with the beard tries his best to make the customers laugh, but no one is budging. Finally, he tells a really corny joke and one of the customers laughs so hard that he falls off his stool. The man with the beard gets his free drink and leaves.

As he’s walking out, the bartender says, “Hey buddy, can I ask you something? How did you know that joke would make him laugh?”

The man with the beard replies, “I didn’t. I have no idea why he laughed, but I know my beard tickled him when he fell!”

A man with a beard goes to a job interview

The man with the beard goes into a job interview and the interviewer says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t allow facial hair in our company.”

The man with the beard reply, “But I’ve been growing this beard for years! It’s part of who I am.”

The interviewer says, “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to shave it off if you want to work here.”

The man with the beard leaves the interview and decides to grow his beard even longer and fuller. A few weeks later, he comes back to the same company and walks into the interviewer’s office. The interviewer does a double take and says, “I thought I told you that we don’t allow facial hair in our company!”

The man with the beard reply, “But I’ve been growing this beard for years! It’s part of who I am.”

The interviewer says, “Listen, I’ll make you a deal. If you can make me laugh, then you can keep your job. But if you can’t make me laugh, then you’re out of here.”

The man with the beard thinks for a minute and then starts telling the funniest jokes he knows. The interviewer is laughing so hard that he’s in tears by the time the man is finished.

The man with the beard gets the job and keeps his beard.

A man with a beard goes to a dating website

A man with a beard goes to a dating website and fills out his profile. Under “interests,” he writes “I like to make people laugh.” Under “occupation,” he writes “Professional comedian.”

Later that day, he gets an email from a woman who says she’s interested in meeting him. They set up a date for the following week.

When the day arrives, the man shows up at the woman’s house. She opens the door and is immediately shocked by how tall he is and how big his beard is. The man sees the look of surprise on her face and says, “I know, I know. I should have warned you about my height and my beard. But I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable meeting me in person before we went any further.”

The woman starts to laugh and says, “Don’t worry, I’m comfortable with you. In fact, I think you’re exactly my type!”

Conclusion

We hope you enjoyed our collection of funny beard jokes. If you have any other favorites, please share them in the comments below. And if you’re looking for more laughs, check out our other joke collections, including our list of 101 Funny Dad Jokes.

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