A collection of the funniest and dirtiest jokes about baseball. If you’re looking to get a laugh out of your next baseball game, this is the blog for you!
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Jokes about Umpires
When an umpire makes a bad call, it’s usually because he didn’t see it. When an umpire makes a good call, it’s because he’s blind.
Umpires are always right
Umpires are always right, even when they’re wrong. That’s why they have to wear black and white – so you can’t tell which way they’re leaning.
Umpires never make mistakes
Umpires never make mistakes, but if they do, they’re alwaysCorrect.
Umpires are always impartial
Umpires are always impartial – they just hate everyone equally.
Jokes about Players
If you’re looking for some dirty and funny baseball jokes, you’ve come to the right place. These jokes are about players, managers, umpires, and fans.
Players are always hustling
Players are always hustling, even when they’re not on the field. They’re always looking for an angle, a way to get ahead. Here are some funny and dirty baseball jokes about players who are always hustling:
-Why did the player cross the road?
To get to the other baseline!
-What do you call a player who’s always hustling?
A go-getter!
-How do you know a player is thinking about retirement?
He starts to refer to the outfield as “the parking lot.”
Players are always trying their best
Players are always trying their best, even when they strike out. Here are some funny and dirty baseball jokes about players that will make you laugh:
-Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other batter!
-Why don’t baseball players like lightning? They get struck out!
-Why did the umpire call a time out? He needed a break!
-How do you stop a player from having nightmares? You tie his shoes together!
-What do you call a player who’s always late? A infielder!
-Why did the coach put the player in left field? Because he couldn’t hit to save his life!
-How do you make a player run faster? Put a cat in front of him!
Players are always looking for an edge
Players are always looking for an edge, and sometimes they’ll do whatever it takes to get it. Here are some jokes about players who are willing to go to extreme lengths to improve their game.
Why did the ballplayer switch from playing first base to playing third base?
He wanted to get closer to the action!
Why did the coach switch the player from shortstop to second base?
He wanted a change of pace!
Why did the player cross the road?
To get to first base!
Jokes about Fans
Fans are always knowledgeable
baseball knowledge. You think you know everything about the game, but there’s always someone who knows more than you do. That’s why it’s important to have a sense of humor about the game. After all, it is just a game.
Here are some funny and dirty baseball jokes that will make you laugh (and maybe groan).
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side of the diamond!
Why don’t umpires like to date fans?
Because they’re always second-guessing them!
How can you tell if a fan is intelligent?
When he/she gives you blank stares during your conversation!
Why did the rookie pitcher bat cleanup?
Because he was number four in his draft class!
Fans are always supportive
No matter how bad the team is doing, fans always remain supportive. They are always there to pick the team up when they’re down.
Fans are always passionate
What do you call a baseball fan who’s passionate about his team?
A diehard fan!
