If you’re looking for a laugh, we’ve got the best funny jokes for when you need a drink. From bar jokes to bartender jokes, these will have you in stitches.
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The Best Jokes for When You Need a Drink
We all know the feeling — you’ve had a long day, you’re tired, and you just need a drink. But sometimes, what you really need is a good laugh. Whether you’re at the bar or at home, these funny jokes are guaranteed to get a rise out of you (and maybe even your drinking buddies). So grab a beer and enjoy!
Q: How do you make a plumber sweat?
A: Put him in a hot tub!
Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it!
Q: What’s the best way to avoid hangovers?
A: Drink in moderation… or don’t drink at all!
Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they just drink until the room starts spinning!
The Funniest Jokes for When You Need a Drink
We all know that feeling. You’ve had a long day, things haven’t gone your way, and you could really use a drink. But before you pour yourself a glass of wine or crack open a beer, take a minute to read some of these hilarious jokes. They’re guaranteed to make you laugh, and that’s exactly what you need right now.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the bar.
How many bartenders does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he has to really want to do it.
Why did the bartender kick out the polka band?
Because they couldn’t tip.
What’s the difference between a bartender and a surgeon?
A surgeon knows when to stop drinking.
Why don’t they serve beer at McDonald’s?
Because there’s no “D” in “McDonald’s.”
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
The Funniest Jokes for When You’re Drunk
Sure, you can probably think of a few jokes on the spot when you’re drunk. But why take the chance of coming up with something lame when you could be busting out some of the funniest jokes ever?
Here are some of the best jokes for when you’re drunk and looking to have a good time:
“Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the liquor store.”
“Why did the duck cross the road? To get to the other bar.”
“Why did the mosquito cross the road? To get to the naked guy.”
“Why did the banana cross the road? Because he was sick of being mashed.”
“Why did the boy cross the road? To get to his house.”
The Funniest Jokes for When You’re Hungover
We all know the feeling: you had a little too much to drink the night before, and now you’re paying for it. You’re feeling sluggish, your head is pounding, and all you want to do is curl up in a dark room and sleep for days.
But alas, life goes on, and we must soldier on. And what better way to help get through a hangover than with a few laughs? We’ve rounded up some of the funniest jokes about hangovers to help you get through the day. So pour yourself a cup of coffee, take a seat, and enjoy.