Jokes about getting old that will make you laugh out loud. If you’re looking for some good clean fun, then this is the blog for you!
Checkout this video:
Table of Contents
Introduction
65th birthday jokes can be funny, but they can also be honest and thought-provoking. Here are some 65th birthday jokes that will make you laugh and think about your own life.
How does a 65-year-old keep her skin looking young?
By avoiding sun exposure, eating healthy foods, and using gentle skincare products.
What’s the best way to stay young at heart?
By keeping a sense of humor and staying active.
Jokes about Turning 65
1. You know you’re getting old when your idea of a hot night out is sitting in front of the TV with a cup of tea.
2. You know you’re getting old when you can’t stay up past 10 pm without falling asleep.
3. You know you’re getting old when you start using words like ” senile” and “geriatric” to describe yourself.
4. You know you’re getting old when all your friends are either married or dead.
5. You know you’re getting old when your favorite TV show is reruns of “The Golden Girls.”
6. You know you’re getting old when your favorite movie is “The Notebook.”
7. You know you’re getting old when all you want for your birthday is a new set of dentures.
Jokes about Retiring
Here are some jokes about retiring that will hopefully make you laugh.
How many retired people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but it might take a while.
What do you call a retired person who is still mentally active?
A thinker.
What do you call a retired person who is physically active?
A walker.
Jokes about Being Old
“How does a senior citizen know when it’s time to wake up?”
“When the wake-up call comes from the retirement home.”
“Why don’t senior citizens take painkillers?”
“They don’t want to hurt the other youngsters.”
“How can you tell if a senior citizen is well-off?”
“He can still drive his own car.”
Jokes about Medicare and Social Security
Q: What do you call a 65-year-old who is still trying to act like they’re in their 20s?
A: Desperate!
Q: What do you call someone who is always complaining about being old?
A: A whiner!
Q: How can you tell if someone is really old?
A: They start every conversation with, “In my day…”
Jokes about Memory Loss
There’s nothing funny about forgetting things, especially as we get older. But sometimes, we can all laugh about the little memory lapses that happen to all of us from time to time. Here are some jokes about memory loss that will make you laugh:
How do you know if you’re losing your memory?
You start forgetting things you never knew in the first place!
Why did the forgetful man put his pillow on the floor?
To remember where he left it!
What did the forgetful man say when someone asked him what his name was?
“Sorry, I forgot!”
Jokes about Hearing and Vision Loss
My vision is failing me. I can’t even see the computer screen anymore.
I’m going to have to get a hearing aid. I keep asking people to repeat themselves.
My memory isn’t what it used to be. I can’t remember what I had for breakfast this morning.
I’m so old, my social security number is 1!
Do you know what I did for exercise when I was your age? Anything that didn’t require moving too much!
Jokes about Arthritis
Arthritis may be a pain, but it doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom. In fact, there are plenty of ways to make light of the situation – like with these arthritis jokes!
Why did the chicken go to the chiropractor?
To get cracks adjusted!
Why did the duck go to the Doctor?
To get some webbing between his toes!
What do you call a snowman with an injury?
A frostbite!
Jokes about Walking
Walking is a great way to stay in shape, but sometimes it can be hard work. These jokes about walking will help you see the lighter side of things.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why did the duck cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why did the mosquito cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why did the banana cross the road?
Because he was sick of being mashed!
Why did the boy cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Jokes about Falls
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why did the duck cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why did the mosquito cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why did the banana cross the road?
Because he was sick of being mashed!
Why did the boy cross the road?
To get to his house on the other side!
Jokes about Bathrooms
We all know that bathrooms are important, and they can be a source of humor as well. Here are some 65th birthday jokes about bathrooms that will make you laugh.
·Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
·To get to the bottom!
·How do you fix a broken toilet?
·With a toilet brush!
·What do you call a bathroom with no toilet paper?
·A dry run!
Jokes about Sex
There are plenty of jokes about sex that are appropriate for a 65th birthday. Here are a few examples:
-Why does a man always have a smile on his face during sex? Because he can’t hear you complain.
-How do men define a “50/50” relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
-How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner.
-What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run, or don’t fit in the crotch!
-How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder “Instruction manuals”
Jokes about Diet and Exercise
Why did the chicken go on a diet?
To lose weight, of course!
Why did the workout enthusiast buy tape?
To hold her stomach in while she exercised!
Why did the guy lift weights at the gym?
To tone up his arms so he could better wave at his friends!
Jokes about Technology
1. Technology has changed the way we live, but it hasn’t changed the way we think.
2. I’m not saying that technology is bad, but sometimes I feel like we’re losing our ability to think for ourselves.
3. I was born in the age of analog and I will die in the age of digital.
4. The only thing constant in life is change, and technology is always changing.
5. Sometimes I feel like I’m living in two worlds – the real world and the online world.
6. Technology has made us more connected, but it has also made us more isolated.
7. We used to communicate with people face-to-face, now we communicate with people screen-to-screen.
8. We used to talk on the phone, now we text. We used to write letters, now we email. We used to send cards, now we post on social media.
9. Technology has made us more accessible, but it has also made us less personal
Jokes about Death
What do you call a man who dies on his 65th birthday?
A lucky guy!
